Random Thoughts On A Sunday Morning Updated To 7-28

[Yankee4Life]

I didn't mean to criticize Joba's weight, I was just emphasizing how big he is. And you're right. Looks got nothing to do with how he performs. And I hope he performs like he's capable.

I understand. And I hope he can come back and help the Yankees too. He's needed.

[jay16509]

The biggest thing I thought that has hurt Joba has been the fact that they kept him uncertain of his role. One minute a starter, the next, a reliever. Each role requires a different mindset, and that I thing was the thing that hurt Joba.

[sabugo]

The biggest thing I thought that has hurt Joba has been the fact that they kept him uncertain of his role. One minute a starter, the next, a reliever. Each role requires a different mindset, and that I thing was the thing that hurt Joba.

Agree 100%, the Yankees should have settled earlier on what his role is.

[sabugo]

And this...this is awesome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS0GrJoBBzs

[Yankee4Life]

Updated to 8-5

...Another trade deadline has come and gone and with great surprise the Yankee farm system still has their top prospects. There was talk that the Cubs' Ryan Dempster was maybe coming to New York but I'm glad nothing came of it because all we need is another guy who pitches like Phil Hughes.

...If Theo Epstein would have been able to get rid of Alfonso Soriano during his first year in Chicago it would have been a successful one despite the team's won-loss record. He still has one more chance to do it by the 31st of August to get waivers on this slug and with this guy's over inflated contract he is sure to clear waivers. But if Theo thinks he can pawn him off on the Yankees he should be gently reminded that the Yankees had him nine years ago and during all that time have showed no signs of missing him.

...Some guy in the Netherlands built a full scale replica of Noah's Ark because he had a dream that his homeland would be flooded. The designer, a Mr. Johan Huibers built this to tell people about God and to explain the Bible in real terms. This ark also includes a theater, restaurant and conference facilities to seat 1,500 people - something that Noah in all his wisdom forgot to include in the original one.

...I can just picture two or three thousand years from now when some future archeologists find this thing they will claim they found Noah's Ark until they examine it closely and find that it was made in Holland.

...A tour guide down in the Florida Everglades got his hand bit off by an alligator last month when he got too close to it for his own good while he tried to feed it. If that isn't bad enough, the state of Florida is pressing charges against him because feeding alligators is illegal. Game officials tracked and killed the gator and retrieved the hand but doctors were unable to reattach it. Serves the alligator right because as we all know you should never bite the hand that feeds you.

...Because the CEO of the restaurant chain Chick-fil-A opposes gay marriage and had the nerve to come out and say so, some mayors of various U.S. cities have told the company that they are not welcome to open up franchises in their city because of his stance. This is just a transparent political move during an election year. Give these same mayors a lifetime supply of two for one coupons and just watch how quickly this problem goes away.

...India suffered two crippling power failures in two days last week that affected more than 350 million people. Remarkably no deaths have been reported and one would hope this good news continues. This power failure in India has also affected many people here in the United States because millions of technical support calls have gone unanswered.

...Snoop Dog (formerly known as Snoop Doggy Dogg) wants to be known now as Snoop Lion because he claims he was "born again" when he was in Jamaica and that he is the reincarnation of Bob Marley. Canines everywhere are applauding this name change while the lions union is considering a lawsuit.

...A.J. Burnett pitched a one hitter last week against the Cubs in Chicago. That's right. This guy gave up only one hit in a complete game shutout over the Cubs. Last year, every time Burnett had a one hitter going for the Yankees the second batter of the game was coming up to hit.

...A man and a woman were stoned to death a few days ago in Mali (a country in Western Africa) for committing adultery. By Islamic law this is the punishment for infidelity. It makes one wonder that if these same people were in control of Hollywood for awhile they would run out of rocks.

...A seventeen year old lifeguard was doing his job not too long ago and minding his own business when he heard the cries for help from a twelve year old boy who was drowning off the coast of Oregon. Not thinking twice, this kid jumps in the water and despite high waves and rough waters he was able to reach the boy, calm him down and get him to shore. Both he and the boy were taken to the hospital to be checked out and after some tests, everything was still in working order and both were released. That's the good news. Jump ahead a few weeks and after checking his mailbox one day this lifeguard discovers that he received a bill for almost $2,600 for his trouble - including $1,900 for the ambulance ride! They could have called for a taxi because it would have been a lot cheaper even if the driver took the long way. This proves once again that no good deed shall go unpunished. At least there is a happy ending for this lifeguard because his bill is being paid in full by anonymous donors.

...This is why I don't jump in the ocean to save people. First I'm not that good of a swimmer and someone would have to come out and save me and secondly I don't live near an ocean.

...Motown legend Stevie Wonder is getting divorced from his wife of ten years citing the usual "irreconcilable differences" reason that is usually told to the public when these things happen but the word around Hollywood is that someone finally told him what his wife really looks like.

...Former porn actress Jenna Jameson said last week that she is going to be endorsing Republican candidate Mitt Romney for President. Now if only the GOP can get Traci Lords to back Romney they'd be all set.

...The country of Saint Kitts and Nevis told track and field runner Kim Collins to pack his things and return home because they couldn't find him for three days as he missed practice meets and repeated attempts to contact him. Collins' excuse for his dismissal from the team is that he went to a hotel room to be with his wife, who also happens to be his coach. Collins obviously did not know the rules that well because if he had got caught in a hotel with a hooker instead of his wife they'd have brought him back and hushed this up as quickly as possible.

...Incidentally, I've never heard of Saint Kitts and Nevis before. It sounds more like a department store than a country.

[DetroitStyle]

What's the deal with Burnett this year? I just saw his line last night on MLB Quick Pitch and he's 13-3 with a 3 ERA. Must be a second wind for him.

[Yankee4Life]

What's the deal with Burnett this year? I just saw his line last night on MLB Quick Pitch and he's 13-3 with a 3 ERA. Must be a second wind for him.

He is doing this year what the Yankees expected him to do for them. I don't understand it either.

[DetroitStyle]

He is doing this year what the Yankees expected him to do for them. I don't understand it either.

Could be a NL thing. Some pitchers just do better in one league rather than the other.

[Yankee4Life]

Could be a NL thing. Some pitchers just do better in one league rather than the other.

You are probably right. But wouldn't you say what he is doing this year is the complete opposite of what he has done in all his years as a Yankee? These two leagues can't be that much different that this has to happen.

[jay16509]

Exactly. I don't understand it either. Burnett has been a huge surprise for my Buccos. I'll take it and admit I was wrong about him.

[sabugo]

Might have been the pressure of playing in NY. Or the ballpark wasn't suited for his style. Or maybe he just started sucking and at a certain point he wasn't able to get his confidence back.

Or maybe he just wants to show the Yankees he's better than we give him credit for.

In my opinion he's somewhere in the middle between his NYY years and what he's doing in Pittsburgh this year. I remember a couple of Yankees games last year in which he gave up 'Yankee Stadium' HR's. In any other venue those balls probably would have been easy fly outs, and his ERA woudln't have balooned.

[sabugo]

Sometimes I wonder if the White Sox signed Adam Dunn (and I do like this guy) just to mess with the Cubs. Too bad the Cubs don't have a DH slot do put Soriano in.

I can imagine the discussions between both Chicago fans:

'Our strikeout machine is a hell of a lot better than yours'

[Yankee4Life]

Updated to 8-12

...An 87 year old Denver man was arrested for growing and dealing pot and is now facing multiple marijuana-related felonies. The man was allowed to grow a certain number of plants for medical reasons but was pinched by the cops because he grew two hundred more marijuana plants over the legal limit supposedly because he wanted to increase his daily limit of lighting up once a day to lighting up once an hour.

...A British man was arrested for creating a public nuisance after he threw a bottle at the finalists of the Olympic mens 100 meter race. The guy was extremely intoxicated and quickly apprehended - which probably explains why he threw the bottle. Being in his drunken state he apparently assumed he was at a soccer game where throwing bottles is encouraged and done by one and all.

...After an impressive tryout for the Seattle Seahawks that saw him run a 4.5-40 in his workout, Terrell Owens was signed to a one year contract by the team, which just shows you how bad things in Seattle are. Taking nothing away from what he did because running a 4.5 is a tough thing to do when you are a 38 year old veteran, but remember this is Terrell Owens. He also can destroy the chemistry of a team in about 4.5 seconds too.

...With the expected launching of Apple's iPhone 5 near the end of next month, many iPhone 4 users are selling off their current phones because overnight it became dated and obsolete. Some are placing the phones on eBay to sell to some poor schmuck who doesn't know any better. The funny thing is nothing has been confirmed by Apple about the release date and the people that are selling their phone are only doing it because of rumors heard on the internet. If you ever wanted to be a part of a brainless herd of people then Apple is for you.

...I don't know how improved the New York Jets passing and running game is going to be this year but their punching game is going to be no problem.

...Jennifer Lopez is saying that her former driver has been trying to blackmail her to the tune of 2.8 million dollars because she did not use a security team he recommended for a music video shoot and if he was not paid that amount he would disclose personal information that he overheard while driving for her. Lopez in return is seeking twenty million dollars in damages from her former employee. She has as much chance of getting twenty million out of that guy as her career does in making a comeback.

...A fifteen year old boy from Ohio collapsed and was hospitalized after becoming severely dehydrated last week because he was playing on his X-box for four days straight, only stopping to grab a few snacks and take a fast shower. The first reaction to a story like this is to blame the parent and maybe there's some truth to that because when you let your kid stay inside his room for four days without wondering why, it does not display good parenting skills. But this kid is fifteen and he should know better. If this is the kind of kid that is the future of America then I'll take the past.

...When I was that age and I stayed in my room for more than a few hours my parents either thought I was sick or up to something.

...Wow, it's been a tough year for country singer Randy Travis. He just got arrested again in a matter of months for public intoxication and this second time he didn't hold anything back. Consider: he was found nude by the side of the road at night smelling of alcohol and then threatened to shoot and kill the cops who arrested him which must have made him a real popular guy at the police station. Like the old saying goes you can take the redneck out of the trailer park but when you do you'll find him laying naked in the road.

...Kinda makes me think that somewhere in Texas a homeless man is wearing a pair of rind-stoned jeans and a new 10 gallon cap.

...Just when I thought I've read enough awful news stories in the past few weeks like that Colorado theater shooting and the Neo Nazi nut who killed six people at the Sikh temple in Milwaukee, I read about a mentally handicapped woman from Vietnam who was beaten and robbed by a ten year old boy and two of his friends who incredibly were both younger than him. These kids beat her with rocks and sticks and threw a potted plant at her face. The three little robbers made off with twenty dollars from her purse, which when you split it three ways really amounts to nothing. But hey, these budding sociopaths are probably just getting started with their criminal careers and we all know that Rome wasn't built in a day.

...I neglected to mention that this happened in Philadelphia, a city world renowned for the class of its citizens.

...A man waiting for his flight in Rome, Italy fell asleep on a baggage belt and traveled about 160 feet before being discovered by airport security drunk and unaware that he dozed off on the conveyor belt. The man was taken to the hospital due to exposure from the X-Rays that scanned the luggage. The good news is that he is ok but they did discover he has two cavities on the right side of his mouth.

...What is it with the Yankees? I can not think of one sensible reason why they had to go and sign Derek Lowe. Are they trying to say that they have no one they can trust down in AAA ball? All this team does throughout the years is brag about their minor leaguers but they'll be damned if they give any of them a chance. It sure as hell helped Lowe that he once played for the Red Sox, a fact that Brian Cashman can't seem to resist when signing free agents.

...Since the selection of Paul Ryan by Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney to be his running mate it has created a swarm of opinions by people pro and con, smart and stupid, funny and ridiculous about the choice he made on news shows throughout the day. I don't know if this guy made a choice that is going to help him or end up hurting him come November because to be honest with you I have never heard of Paul Ryan and since I have been living in what I consider a very nice life here in Central New York state, I have been doing very well not knowing this guy existed. In other words, I could care less.

...When I first heard the words "Honey Boo Boo" I just thought it was the name of a song that I've never heard of but when I found out what it was - a show about a spoiled arrogant six year old redneck fat kid who somehow believes she is a beauty queen. There's more to this show of course. The kid has a mother who weighs three hundred pounds, give or take a chin and three sisters, the oldest is seventeen and pregnant. The only chance this kid has at winning a major beauty pageant is if they have the thing in front of an audience of blind people and the rest of the contestants don't show up.

[sabugo]

Why would anyone buy an iPhone is beyond me. I have the same cell-phone I had FIVE years ago. Last week I dropped it and cracked the screen. I bought a new screen for 10 bucks and it's as good as new. I can make calls with it, send text messages, check scores, set my alarm clock, take some decent pictures, etc... Oh, and I can answer it with either hand without losing reception. I'm sure all the Apple-fanatics would want to lynch me after reading this, but that's just my opinion. Why spend 500 bucks on something that basically does the same than my 5 year old cell?

(BTW: If you drop your phone and crack the screen, it's very easy and cheap to buy a replacement screen and switch it at home, rather than go to the store or buy a new phone)

The Yankees do the same every year. Always with the 'top-rated prospects this and that'. The last guy to come out of the Yankees farm system to have some success was Cano, and that was years ago. Austin Jackson probably got lucky when he got traded. We all know how Phil Hughes is turning out. I'm already losing my sleep because of what might happen do Bichette Jr in a few years.

To be fair, the two top pitching prospects (Banuelos and Betances) have had problems this year with injuries and underperforming. Nevertheless, If you don't have a guy in your minor teams who can step up and eat some innings for a couple of games, you might as well not have any minor league affiliates.

Nowadays, parents see video games and computers as a useful parenting tool. It's almost like, if he's playing or on the web I don't have to spend any time with the kid, doing actual parenting. It does happen. Sticking your kids in front of a TV or PS3 will sure get them quiet, but it's also a recipe for disaster further down the road. Like Y4L's, my parents would also think something was wrong with me if I stayed in my bedroom or even inside the house for more than a couple of hours. To me, that's whats normal. Kids should be out doing kid things, with all the bruises and scratches that go along with that.

Edited August 13, 2012 by sabugo

[Yankee4Life]

Why would anyone buy an iPhone is beyond me. I have the same cell-phone I had FIVE years ago. Last week I dropped it and cracked the screen. I bought a new screen for 10 bucks and it's as good as new. I can make calls with it, send text messages, check scores, set my alarm clock, take some decent pictures, etc... Oh, and I can answer it with either hand without losing reception. I'm sure all the Apple-fanatics would want to lynch me after reading this, but that's just my opinion. Why spend 500 bucks on something that basically does the same than my 5 year old cell?

(BTW: If you drop your phone and crack the screen, it's very easy and cheap to buy a replacement screen and switch it at home, rather than go to the store or buy a new phone)

Now that I think of it my phone is almost that old too. I don't have the internet on mine but the reception is very good and that's all I want.

Nowadays, parents see video games and computers as a useful parenting tool. It's almost like, if he's playing or on the web I don't have to spend any time with the kid, doing actual parenting. It does happen. Sticking your kids in front of a TV or PS3 will sure get them quiet, but it's also a recipe for disaster further down the road. Like Y4L's, my parents would also think something was wrong with me if I stayed in my bedroom or even inside the house for more than a couple of hours. To me, that's whats normal. Kids should be out doing kid things, with all the bruises and scratches that go along with that.

The generation of kids that I grew up with were the last ones to play ball in the street and the one of the last to join the playground for organized sports like softball. The only softball that is played at the playgrounds when I was younger are nightly adult leagues. During the day you don't see anyone.

[sabugo]

Derek Lowe inherited AJ Burnett's no.34

Not counting yesterday's game, I'm wondering to see how that turns out.

[Yankee4Life]

Derek Lowe inherited AJ Burnett's no.34

Not counting yesterday's game, I'm wondering to see how that turns out.

Can it be any worse? Nope. And look at the good side about this. Lowe does not have Burnett's inflated contract so his future on the team is limited to say the least.

[sabugo]

Hey, it's a good thing that Phelps started yesterday, and he wasn't bad. He should be the Yankees' first option for spot starts like this. It should help him tremendously down the road, to be either a productive reliever or part of the rotation.

I believe it could be worse. I just don't want to imagine it...

[Yankee4Life]

Updated to 8-19

...Miami Dolphins wide receiver Chad Johnson was arrested for head-butting his wife after she found a receipt for condoms that he recently made. An argument ensued, things got heated and she ended up getting bopped in the head. Johnson spent the night in jail and as soon as NFL commissioner Roger Goodell heard about it he fined Johnson an undisclosed amount of money for an illegal hit to the head.

...If this was all that happened to Johnson I'd have imagined he would have been fine with it but his week just went from bad to worse. Soon after this incident with his wife she decided to file for divorce after only forty-one days of marriage, which gave Kim Kardashian an incentive to beat the next time she ties the knot. And then it was the Miami Dolphins turn. In what was probably going to be the most media attention they will get all season, the team released Johnson -which is their choice- but they made sure to do it while the cameras were on during the NFL Films "Hard Knocks" series which just showed a lack of respect and compassion from them.

...A woman from a small eastern Pennsylvania town not far from Philadelphia was arrested for stabbing her fiance to death during an argument in the early morning hours on the day that they were to be married. What they were arguing about was not disclosed and her excuse was that "she didn't do it on purpose" despite the fact that she ended up stabbing him two times. As any wife can bear witness to this woman really screwed up here because she could have just nagged him for the rest of his life and avoided prison time. For any of you guys in here that are not married yet remember this since it proves the old adage that it is unlucky for you to see your bride before the wedding.

...Four members from Congo's Olympic delegation went missing after the closing ceremony in London last week. Congo officials have unsuccessfully tried to reach them since then but have been unable to. They are not missing. They know exactly where they are. One of them, a judo athlete, lost his final match after forty-nine seconds. The guy probably had his bags packed and is hiding somewhere in London at this moment. Who can blame these poor guys for not wanting to go back to the Congo? Besides, if they ever get homesick and need a reminder of home they can go to the London Zoo and let the lions chase them around for the price of an admission ticket.

...Makes me wonder why the North Koreans didn't try this.

...A Middle School in New Jersey will have a brand new rule for their students when classes resume in a few weeks. Beginning the new school semester students will not be allowed to hug each other during school hours. The incredible reason that the school gave for this was that they wanted to "teach children about appropriate interactions." Hugs may be outlawed but handshakes, pats on the back and the occasional french kiss are still permitted.

...For those of you that missed out on the original Neo-Geo console system twenty years ago, you're going to get another chance. Just in time for the Christmas season the The Neo Geo X Gold will be released for $199 and will come with twenty classic games. That's a hell of a price drop from the first time this hit the market ($650 for the system itself and $200 and up for individual games) and it makes me wonder how these guys expect people to pay two hundred dollars for this to play games that are twenty years old. It's like trying to sell Hardball III to someone who's been used to playing The Show.

...If I were Melky Cabrera I'd make a discreet call to Ryan Braun's legal team to see if they could get him out of the same mess that he was in.

...A burglar broke into the home of Steve Jobs, the late co-founder of Apple and stole computers and other items from his home and was caught by police trying to sell the goods. Among the things he was trying to fence was the only iPhone known to be in perfect working order, along with $60,000 worth of computer items, or the amount you'd pay for two Mac Books and four iPads.

...Vanessa Bryant, Kobe's airheaded trophy wife, said in a magazine interview that she does not want to be married to someone who does not win championships and if her husband has to sacrifice time away from her and her family then he better win a championship and he should do it every single year. And all this time we all thought George Steinbrenner was unreasonable. Kobe's already won five championships in his career and that's a lot for any marriage. Makes me wonder what she'd say if Bryant were a baseball player and he played for the Cubs.

....On a 100 degree day two years ago, a woman decided to attend a scrimmage that the Dallas Cowboys were holding and she took a seat on a black marble bench to watch the practice. Wearing a pair of shorts she sat down on the bench and she immediately burned her lower backside, causing her to jump up faster than she went down. If any of you have accidentally touched the hood of a car after it has been out in the sun all day you will have a pretty good idea how she felt at that moment. The result is that she suffered third degree burns on her buttocks and smelling a lawsuit along with her burned a$$, she did just that. Incredible. She's suing the Cowboys for mental anguish, physical pain and disfigurement. There's no word yet if she will also be suing the sun. If you are asking yourself why she took two years to file this lawsuit you are not alone and why you would go and sit on a marble bench when you consider how hot it was that day is living proof that some people do sit on their brains.

...Now if this woman is successful with this lawsuit consider the suits that you and I can bring up if we use our imagination:

1. For those of us in cold weather states we can sue the makers of the snow shovel that we have because when we first start to shovel our walk the handle is always cold and it makes our hands cold and we just can't have that.

2. The next time we go to 7-11 for milk and bread and they are out of 2% milk we can file a lawsuit for not having the store properly stocked.

3. When going out to dinner we can sue the restaurant if the waiter or waitress does not give us enough butter to go along with our bread.

4. Going to see your favorite team play and watching them lose in person can cause anger, frustration and emotional distress - a perfect recipe for a lawsuit.

5. When you want to do one thing with your spouse and they want to do something entirely different and you are made to do what they want, you can sue for an infringement on your inalienable right of your pursuit of happiness.

After thinking about this last one it really doesn't sound like a bad idea.

...Jenny McCarthy's gone through another boyfriend, this time breaking up with Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher after four months. This broad has been tapped more times than the floor at a dance studio.

...For the past eight months R.A. Dickey has been wearing two friendship bracelets on his glove hand that were made by his two little girls and have been worn by him non-stop since the season began. That is until last Wednesday when the umpires forced him to remove them, citing the violation of a rule. It's so nice to know that Bud Selig is always looking out to uphold the integrity of the game.

[sabugo]

Not that I don't need it badly in my country, but you guys in the US seriously need some justice system reform to prevent all those wacky lawsuits.

R.A. Dickey has all my respect. If it was me, they would have to put a gun to my head and carry me off the field. When stupidity prevails, every bone in my body aches. I would definitly make a scene of some sort if that was me. Fortunately, R.A. is classier than I am and chose not to make a spectacle of an already incredibly stupid thing.

I didn't know there was such a thing as a perfectly functioning iPhone.

One of the top Portuguese athletes, Francis Obikwelu, did essentially the same thing as the guys from Congo you mention. He came to Portugal to take part in some track and field meeting when he was still a junior, and opted to run away from his delegation and stay here. He ended up working in construction and eventually went back to running, even winning an Olympic medal for us. The other guy who ran away with him did not have such a bright story, as you can see by me not even knowing his name. Francis is very thankfull to Portugal and has no ill-feelings towards his native Nigeria. In his words, he just wanted a better life. We are very thankfull for your efforts too Francis.

I thought Kobe Bryant and Vanessa were divorced. I guess she just missed all the champion$hip$.

I'm thinking that they must hug in a different kind of way in New Jersey than in the rest of the world. 'Insert random Jersey Shore joke here'.

Edited August 19, 2012 by sabugo

[Yankee4Life]

Updated to 8-26

...Roger Clemens just will not go away. He's now making a comeback with the Sugar Land Skeeters, a minor league team from Texas who are a members of the independent Atlantic League. He's convinced he's still got a lot left in the tank and according to his agent his fastball has been clocked at 87 MPH and "all of his pitches were working." Again that is according to Randy Hendricks, Clemens’ agent. He did not say whether Clemens' pitches were working in favor of Clemens or the hitters. The game however is a sellout for the small town of Sugar Land, which is about twenty miles southwest of Houston. And to make the night even more special, the first 500 fans will get a commemorative syringe.

...How about that Melky Cabrera for having the idea to set up a fictitious website and to invent a fake drug to help explain away his positive test for synthetic testosterone recently although if he had a brain in his head he would have seen that this ruse had one major flaw in it that can be explained in one simple word: doctors. He never stopped to think that a doctor that is an expert in this field would come out and say that the drug he was talking about can't provide the results promised only because it doesn't exist. Original idea Melky but next time try to think it all the way through.

...You got to hand it to the Giants. They finally found someone to replace Barry Bonds.

...And in a related incident, Oakland Athletics right-hander Bartolo Colon has been suspended 50 games after testing positive for testosterone. Colon expressed shock and surprise and said he had no idea how this happened since all he did was buy a few products from Melky Cabrera's website.

...A Connecticut was arrested in a Friendly's restaurant recently for soliciting a prostitute inside their place of business, which gave a whole new meaning to the term "Friendly." They were caught finalizing their business agreement because the man could not hear what the woman was telling him and she had to continually raise her voice to tell him exactly what he was going to get out of her and for how much. He may not have heard her price list that good but other patrons did and the police were called. Both were arrested, the woman for prostitution and the man for encouraging her to do her job. So the next time someone tells you that your hearing is one of the first things you notice that leaves you when you get older, believe it.

...At a Walmart store just north of Austin, Texas four people were arrested after being shot when they decided to gather in the store's parking lot to fight and generally have it out with each other. They figured they may as well have it there because once they were done with their version of the Texas Two-Step they were going to go and do some shopping. But rednecks will be rednecks and before long shots were fired and they never got to do their shopping that night. The biggest loser here was Walmart, who figured to make a bundle because these guys were completely out of beer and chewing tobacco.

...A French woman recently endured an eighteen hour flight from Pakistan to Paris and then back again all because she slept through the plane's two hour layover in Paris because no one on the flight crew and ground crew failed to notice her still in her seat asleep. And we wonder how they lose our luggage.

...A Virginia family spent six days stranded at Salt Lake City International Airport because they were using a relative's buddy pass and were continually getting bumped from flights on their return home to Virginia which forced them to live in the airport all that time. It was tough on the family of four since they had to sleep on the uncomfortable chairs in the airport and were forced to eat expensive vending machine food but they all said worst part was listening to the Mormons tell them about the Church of Latter Day Saints over and over.

...KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP DEPT: I had to get some blood work done the other day and the place I go to opens up at 7:00 am. I got there fifteen minutes before the place opened so I can get in and out of there because it can be a very busy place at times. One of the employees there let us in at three minutes before seven and while some of us were walking in, another lady ran out of an office in the back and made us leave because she said we could not come in the place until 7 am exactly. Oh did that raise a fuss with some of the old people that walked in there with me. They were furious that they had to turn around and leave the place for a few more minutes. Imagine throwing rocks at a hornets nest and watching them get all stirred up. That's what happened here. They couldn't wait to get back in and give them a piece of their mind. And true to their word they did. Me? I didn't say a word. You see, I never argue with anyone who is going to be sticking a needle in me.

...I'm sure we've all had neighbors that we can tell horror stories about but I don't know if any of them can top what some people in Queens, New York have had to go through when one homeowner had three million bees confiscated from his residence. People around his home were afraid to walk out their door because the hives were so close to them, which probably explained why they had no friends or relatives come and visit them all summer.

...Early last Wednesday morning a burglar decided to break into a plush Los Angeles home to look around and maybe take some things here and there. It turned out that he should have checked the name on the mailbox because he broke into the home of LL Cool J, a guy who is built like solid granite. And to make matters even worse, LL Cool J happened to be home and asleep at the time of the break-in and he apparently does not like to have his sleep disturbed because he came down his stairs and "physically detained" the would-be thief by breaking the man's nose, jaw and ribs. The burglar is now hospitalized due to these injuries and has admitted his mistake to police, saying that he meant to break in Chris O'Donnell's house instead.

...I'm not really surprised that an ESPN hack had to question if Derek Jeter was doping. And all because Jeter at the age of 38 is having a very good year. It wasn't long ago that Jeter was doing nothing but popping out or grounding into double plays. But to question this is typical of ESPN reporting. They don't need anything to back what they say and the sad part is because it was brought up on television some people are going to believe this.

...Incidentally, Ted Williams was 38 years old in 1957 when he hit .388. Maybe Skip Bayless should question that too.

...If I were a football player and I happened to look across at the other teams side and saw that they had a 6'11' 500 pound player on their team I'd leave as quickly as possible and take up another sport.

...There's no way I can end this week's edition in here without talking about the huge Dodgers - Red Sox trade that happened on Saturday. The first thing I asked myself was what were the Dodgers thinking? They acquired two guys that had over 100 million dollars left on both of their contracts and one of them (Carl Crawford) won't even be playing for them until next year. The Sox gave up Adrian Gonzalez, a guy that they have been after for years, and seemed happy to send him on his way to California. How were they to know the guy was a whiner who would complain to the owners when things got tough? Having Josh Beckett agree to wave his 10-5 rights that would prevent a trade was easy as soon as Beckett learned that Don Mattingly allowed beer in the clubhouse and that he could hook up his PS3 in the player's lounge.

Other thoughts:

1. Why did the Dodgers want Nick Punto? Or even better, who would want Nick Punto?

2. What's next for the Dodgers? Is there another 100 million ballplayer Magic Johnson can buy?

3. There was a picture of a smiling Josh Beckett, Adrian Gonzalez and Nick Punto on the plane as it was headed to Los Angeles to begin their Dodger careers. The same could not be said for James Loney because the only picture that had him smiling as he was headed east was a photoshoped one.

4. By taking Beckett and clubhouse cancer Gonzalez off Boston's hands Magic Johnson became more popular in Boston than Larry Bird.

5. It's hard to gauge Carl Crawford's worth in this trade since he will no doubt manage to get injured in spring training next year and will miss half the year.

6. I'm sure that the Padres fans are going to love having Gonzalez back in the NL West and playing for their rivals.

7. When asked about that, Gonzalez said it was "God's will."

8. With all the money the Red Sox freed up they can now go out and re-sign Manny Ramirez.

9. The Sox acquired James Loney, who is going to be a free agent at the end of the year. If he knows what is good for him he'll leave at the end of the season and not look back.

10. The key to the deal for Boston was pitcher Rubby De La Rosa, who is coming off Tommy John surgery. It's a huge gamble to make a trade on the potential of a young pitcher. Just ask the Yankees about Michael Pineda if you don't believe me.

[DJEagles]

Melky Cabrera, Roger Clemens, and Bartolo Colon...what do all three have in common? Oh that's right, they are all former Yankee players.

[Yankee4Life]

Melky Cabrera, Roger Clemens, and Bartolo Colon...what do all three have in common? Oh that's right, they are all former Yankee players.

They also played on other teams too. Why do they have to be associated with the Yankees? Colon played one year -ONE YEAR- with the Yankees and all of a sudden that's the team people associate him with. Clemens played with Boston, Toronto and Houston but all that's forgotten because he played for the Yankees. And Cabrera came up with the Yankees and was traded in 2009. He got in trouble while being a member of the Giants but still all you *&^&%#$ see is that he once played for the Yankees.

[Jim825]

Melky Cabrera, Roger Clemens, and Bartolo Colon...what do all three have in common? Oh that's right, they are all former Yankee players.

But DJ, you have to remember -- Clemens never would have been involved with steroids if he hadn't played for the Blue Jays: http://www.cbc.ca/sports/baseball/mlb/story/2012/05/14/sp-clemens-trial-mcnamee-on-the-stand.html

We can blame Toronto for injecting (pun intended!) steroids into the Yankee organization.... ;)

[Yankee4Life]

I just don't see how the hell the Yankees have to be involved in this.