NYM Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Heres the deal, my uncles came up to New York from Florida. This takes place before the Subway Series.(He's a diehard Yankee fan) He sees Derek Jeter in an uncrowded place and goed "Hey Derek." Jeter keeps walking. He says "Hey Derek." Jeter turns around and says "What do you want[/attitude]" My uncle goes "Hey you dont have to be so stuck up. I wasnt asking for a autograph or anything, just acknowledge I'm talkin to you". Jeter goes "I'm not being stuck up, I dont have to answer to you." My uncle goes "Stop being a stuck up ******* and just acknowledge I was saying your name". Jeter walks away. My uncle goes out of the building, and a week later has season tickets to the Devil Rays. He is no longer a Yankee fan. lol......moral of the story, dont mess with uncle paul. He now roots for every team playing the Yanks. The story sounds better if you hear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stix Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snepp Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I agree with Jeter, sounds like it was your uncle being the ***. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruecu Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 great story...FOR ME TO POOP ON!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seanzarelli Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 So not funny...I have a funny story for you though... When I was a little kid I used to have crazy dreams because well uh, you remember Nestle Quik? You know the powder you'd put it in your milk and you'd stir it for like 30 minutes and no matter how hard you f*cking tried to stir there were still chunks of powdery magma that would float up and explode in your eye while you are tying to drink. Take a sip...pfft...uh god d*mn sand missle just blew up in my eye, the movie Dune is in my chocolatey drink...I don't like when the movie Dune is in my drink...Crazy... When I was like 5 or 6 years old I took the powder and snorted it...Cuz I heard about speed, so I thought speed, quik, maybe there was some connection...So then I would have some f*cked up dreams because I was all hopped up on the Q as we called it on the streets...I'd be on my big wheel all strung out..."What am I doing with my f*cking life here man? Yah I'll play kickball tomorrow, tomorrow...I can't kick the ball today, I'm not feeling the kickball vibe..." I'll tell you what dream used to scare me when I was a little kid, used to totally give me nightmares...Remember those Kool-Aid commercials? Where that big talking bowl of punch, he would come crashing through your f*cking wall in the living room...You wouldn't even know it...Pofooft...OH YAH! OH YAH! OH YAH! And the little kids would be all excited and be like YES! YES! And then they would drink out of him after debris fell into his open, dumb head...He would pour himself, OH YAH! OH YAH! Him and his crazy tights...I don't like that, I don't like when juice wears tights, that's a horrible combination, a bowl of juice wearing tights...F*ck drinking out of him, if that was me I'd be like no no no fix that wall before my dad gets home from work...He's gonna beat me with a belt, he's not going to believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came in here, you stupid idiot...Yah coming through the wall is real f*cking cool, using the front door is cool! Don't touch me you drink! Don't touch me you giant beverage...You are sweating or condensating, I will kick you in the tights and you will go down, you are very top heavy...You glass b*tch...OH YAH! Oh no, naughty naughty Kool-Aid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkB Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 So not funny...I have a funny story for you though... When I was a little kid I used to have crazy dreams because well uh, you remember Nestle Quik? You know the powder you'd put it in your milk and you'd stir it for like 30 minutes and no matter how hard you f*cking tried to stir there were still chunks of powdery magma that would float up and explode in your eye while you are tying to drink. Take a sip...pfft...uh god d*mn sand missle just blew up in my eye, the movie Dune is in my chocolatey drink...I don't like when the movie Dune is in my drink...Crazy... When I was like 5 or 6 years old I took the powder and snorted it...Cuz I heard about speed, so I thought speed, quik, maybe there was some connection...So then I would have some f*cked up dreams because I was all hopped up on the Q as we called it on the streets...I'd be on my big wheel all strung out..."What am I doing with my f*cking life here man? Yah I'll play kickball tomorrow, tomorrow...I can't kick the ball today, I'm not feeling the kickball vibe..." I'll tell you what dream used to scare me when I was a little kid, used to totally give me nightmares...Remember those Kool-Aid commercials? Where that big talking bowl of punch, he would come crashing through your f*cking wall in the living room...You wouldn't even know it...Pofooft...OH YAH! OH YAH! OH YAH! And the little kids would be all excited and be like YES! YES! And then they would drink out of him after debris fell into his open, dumb head...He would pour himself, OH YAH! OH YAH! Him and his crazy tights...I don't like that, I don't like when juice wears tights, that's a horrible combination, a bowl of juice wearing tights...F*ck drinking out of him, if that was me I'd be like no no no fix that wall before my dad gets home from work...He's gonna beat me with a belt, he's not going to believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came in here, you stupid idiot...Yah coming through the wall is real f*cking cool, using the front door is cool! Don't touch me you drink! Don't touch me you giant beverage...You are sweating or condensating, I will kick you in the tights and you will go down, you are very top heavy...You glass b*tch...OH YAH! Oh no, naughty naughty Kool-Aid... I've known guys that have been junkies since they could talk, and even those crazy idiots haven't attempted to Nestle Quik. :lmao: So then I would have some f*cked up dreams because I was all hopped up on the Q as we called it on the streets...I'd be on my big wheel all strung out..."What am I doing with my f*cking life here man? Yah I'll play kickball tomorrow, tomorrow...I can't kick the ball today, I'm not feeling the kickball vibe..." :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 That is clearly from Dane Cook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleMo Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I thought I had heard this before. Funny is Leading With My Chin, by Jay Leno. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Filthy57 Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I thought I had heard this before. Funny is Leading With My Chin, by Jay Leno. Yes, yes. For me, pretty much THE reason for books on tape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medric822 Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Wow, Jeter's not known for attitude. Is your uncle sure it was Jeter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Filthy57 Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I would assume that if he wasn't Derek Jeter, he would've said so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee4Life Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I would assume that if he wasn't Derek Jeter, he would've said so. Well maybe he did but Uncle Paul may have been working on his second six pack. Right Uncle Paul? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleMo Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 It's UncleMo and I don't appreciate you posting comprimising pictures of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chubbyd Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Better story. I'm in Kansas City over the summer in 2003. Great summer to be there, KC is in first most of the year, I got out to see 15-20 games, great times. But one game sticks out: Late August against Texas. I am from Michigan, I love the Tigers, and I like the Red Sox. So I have a Tigers hat and Red Sox jersey on for a KC-Texas tilt. Big rain storm comes in, and most of the croud leaves, freeing us up to head to the bar and then down right behind the visitors dugout. At this point, it is 1-0 KC, on a error by then All-Star shortstop Alex Rodriguez. So every time he runs off the field, or to the on deck circle and all during his at bats, we are SCREAMING "E-6! E-6!" The game gets to 4-0 Royals, and A-Rod leads off the 8th with a HR. Hit it a mile! I think it landed at Busch Stadium, some 290 miles away. The Rangers end up batting around, tying the score at 4. All-Star third baseman Joe Randa makes it 5-4 Royals in the bottom of the 8th, and with A-Rod again leading off the 9th, people around us are telling us to shut up. We didnt. We are still yelling "E-6! E-6!" as he proceeds to jack one the opposite way so hard the thing never got over 15 feet in the air. As the four of us drunken idiots take our seats and planning our escape route, A-Rod gives a wink, a nod, and a point on his way back into the dugout. It all comes out all right after he gets caught stealing in the 10th or 11th, I cant remember, and we start in again. The Royals finally won in the bottom of the 11th, but the looks we got on our way out from the 3,500 fans left could have killed a sober person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philliesphan18 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Wow that's nuts. Anyhow, its sort of like stories I've heard of baseball players doing this. This is the only one I can remember though. Cal Ripken Jr. was currently going through a slump, and there was a reporter for local newspaper writing a rather harsh article about him and how he was washed up and his career was over. Ripken hits a screaming line drive foul and smashes the reporter's laptop he was working on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matroska Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Heres the deal, my uncles came up to New York from Florida. This takes place before the Subway Series.(He's a diehard Yankee fan) He sees Derek Jeter in an uncrowded place and goed "Hey Derek." Jeter keeps walking. He says "Hey Derek." Jeter turns around and says "What do you want[/attitude]" My uncle goes "Hey you dont have to be so stuck up. I wasnt asking for a autograph or anything, just acknowledge I'm talkin to you". Jeter goes "I'm not being stuck up, I dont have to answer to you." My uncle goes "Stop being a stuck up [naughty word] and just acknowledge I was saying your name". Jeter walks away. My uncle goes out of the building, and a week later has season tickets to the Devil Rays. He is no longer a Yankee fan. lol......moral of the story, dont mess with uncle paul. He now roots for every team playing the Yanks. The story sounds better if you hear it. Uncle Paul made a good move :wtg: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAM Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 i've got a decent baseball one: everyone knows how hard it is to catch a foul ball at a MLB game right? ok so i'm at the ballpark in arlington (ameriquest whatever the hell it is) some years ago. rangers vs. angels. this is when edmonds was still an angel and the rangers were the roid rangers- gonzalez, podge, raffy... ok so i'm watching BP - i like to get there early to see the guys take their cuts. edmonds is taking BP- crushing the ball. whack! he hits one into a row just below me on the first base side- field level. there is a commotion... emergency staff comes down and walks off with a small girl bloodied badly by the ball to the noggin accompanied by what appeared to be her grandmother. that left what appeared to be her grandfather as the sole survivor scratching his head in his seat. he obviously was more interested in the game than the kid. poor thing... game starts first inning edmonds at the plate. whack! he hits one into the same area as he did during BP! commotion... emergency staff comes down and walks away with non other than...the little girls grandfather ! as they pass by me carrying the bloodied old geezer away i shake my head and wonder what are the odds? doubt they ever went to another game after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinghernandez Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 I got a non baseball one. Me and a buddy work at a golf course. We were seeding the fairways when some people were hitting. So we went up in the woods so we wouldn't get hit and so we could let them go through. Well they couldn't see us from there and pretty soon a ball comes flying over our heads, hits a tree and goes in the woods somewhere. My friend says throw me a ball and he proceeds to lie slumped over on the ground with a golf ball right in front of him. The people come looking for their ball and see him and freaked out. They truly thought they killed him. He justed turned over and said gotcha. It was quite hilarious though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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