Kccitystar Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Due to the overwhelming amount of male posters on this site, I decided to make a man law thread. Post as many as you want, but here's my list. 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. ( The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. © After wrecking your boss' car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". (e) When she is using her teeth. 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice. 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free. 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! ( C'mon, give me one more! Harder! © Another set and we can hit the showers! 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs. 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pujols Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 <_< This was on ebaumsworld.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kccitystar Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 of course, because they swagger-jack everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Jerk Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Under no circumstances shall two men use side by side urinals if others are available, no matter what their condition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kccitystar Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 Under no circumstances shall two men use side by side urinals if others are available, no matter what their condition. I nominate this a MAN LAW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhath Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Under no circumstances should a man ever see any picture/movie/anything that contains gay man romance... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pujols Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 It is required that once a day a man should see a picture involving gay women romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckdodger215 Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Under no circumstances should a man ever see any picture/movie/anything that contains gay man romance... yes, no homersexuals Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidalwav90 Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 i like the christmas one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kccitystar Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 It is required that once a day a man should see a picture involving gay women romance. I nominate this as a MAN LAW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleMo Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 13, 27, and 28 are co signed. Everything else, meh. I have strict man laws, probably because I'm pickier. Ex: No talking in the bathroom period unless you are forced to, and if you are forced to it must be at the sink washing hands while you are trying to get out of the conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleMo Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 It is required that once a day a man should see a picture involving gay women romance. depending upon your value system of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostrider Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Under no circumstances should a man ever use any shower supplies besides soap, shampoo, and a washcloth. No loofahs, no exfoliating brushes. Soap. Shampoo. Washcloth. Keep it simple, keep it manly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleMo Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 good one. Man law I am sick of being broken- Do not look at another man's girl when they are in the car together and you are driving next to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean O Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 So, fellow men, can anyone explain the universal attraction to Angelina Jolie? Of all the attractive females in hollywood, this: (link NSFW, you've been warned) http://my-wallpaper.com/files/celebs/angel..._1_1024x768.jpg is what we pick? It looks like someone stretched play-doh over a distended corpse. She doesn't even look human. All I'm saying is, we can do better. Also, Jhath's suggestion cannot be man law, because of one clear exception: Wet Hot American Summer. If you haven't seen it, you really, really should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhath Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 never seen it but if your reason is for girls in it, then it still sholdnt be an exception because there are so many other movies with attractive women in them edit... sean i agree... i dont think jolie is ugly, but i dont think she is that smoking hot... why leave aniston for jolie? shes just not that great... but brooke burke... dang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYM Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 - Every man must follow the MAN LAW thread. (like the 11th commandment or somethin) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckdodger215 Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Under no circumstances should a man ever use any shower supplies besides soap, shampoo, and a washcloth. No loofahs, no exfoliating brushes. Soap. Shampoo. Washcloth. Keep it simple, keep it manly. but i like my loofah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostrider Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 :nay: Loofah :nay: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean O Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 never seen it but if your reason is for girls in it, then it still sholdnt be an exception because there are so many other movies with attractive women in them No, Wet Hot American Summer is a great movie because it's well-written and hilarious. Just because we enjoy looking at attractive women doesn't mean that's the only reason to do any activity. Hell, no one would watch baseball if that were true. (Though Kelly the Ball Girl and Hazel Mae make the NESN broadcasts a better experience) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostrider Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 I've gotta call bluff on rule #6. I'm willing to bet there's A LOT of people in these forums that aren't of legal age to partake in the joy of beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kccitystar Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Hear Ye, Hear Ye!.... On with the thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfgiantsflgators Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 1. a man should never pick a woman over a buddy to accompany him to a sporting event - unless said woman knows more about sports than the buddy he passed over. EDIT: 2. no phone calls should be made during a sporting event. exceptions are only to brag about your team taking a lead (30 second max call) or to brag about catching a foul ball (also, 30 second max). neither exception should be needed though, as all parties should be watching/at the game together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstroEric Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Under no circumstances should a man ever use any shower supplies besides soap, shampoo, and a washcloth. No loofahs, no exfoliating brushes. Soap. Shampoo. Washcloth. Keep it simple, keep it manly. I use a sponge thing that my wife put in the shower. I use it because it means doing less laundry, the laze of which I consider to be manly. --Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adonis2109 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I use a sponge thing that my wife put in the shower. I use it because it means doing less laundry, the laze of which I consider to be manly. --Eric QFT, I myself use one of those things because of the same fact. Any man knows that no laundry is good laundry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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