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All-White? All-Right!!!


xcrunner4623

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New York- Major League Baseball mandated today that all teams will be involved in a draft to even out the playing field. All players on the teams are to be released into the market. The Philadelphia Phillies, unable to create any stir with their previous teams have announced that during the draft, they will be drafting an all-caucasain team. While this may come as a suprise to the baseball fans, it is nothing new with the World Baseball Classic putting players into their respective countries. The Phillies have announced that they will move the team from Citizen's Bank Park and rename themselves the Hockessin Cracker Jacks, playing in Surburbian Stadium, formerly known as AAA Stadium Three.

Draft Results (19th pick)

Batting Order

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**These are the players drafted, not the actual batting order**

Pitching Rotation

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Billy Wagner is the closer

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oh my God.

I'm sure some people are going to find this innapropriate - but I think it's funny. And here's why: Because the reference to the WBC is correct - it was a bad idea both baseball-wise and culturally.

And naming it the "Cracker Jacks" should definately indicate that this is a JOKE, not an insult.

Of course... what the hell would you name an all "black" team? (uh oh).

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In his press conference today, new GM and manager Blaze Fraizer said that he will finally finish a season with the team that he began with. Here are some other comments from Mr. Fraizer.

Q- What do you see as the main problem for this team?

A- I think speed might be an issue with us. We are not the fleetest team, but we will be able to place our hits and hit for the occasional power.

Q- Why did you feel it was necessary to move the team to Hockessin?

A- I saw it as an opportunity to largen the fan base, and what is better to do than move it right into the middle of suburbia. It's perfectly logical, we have a great stadium to play in, hopefully Teixiera can hit a few into the yard across the street.

Q- What do you say to fans who feel this could be morally reprehensible or wrong?

A- I think this is nothing new in America. We should embrace it, look what happened with the WBC. It was a success.

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the timing of this is ironic, Martin Luther King Jr.'s B-day is Monday

interesting storyline, but I am unsure whether this violates moral code or not

Please be assured, the timing of this was not meant to be placed around Martin Luther King Jr.'s B-day.

The first game will be played tonight and recapped as well.

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I think this is funny. I tried it for NBA Live a few years ago and man o man was it a long season.

Ahhahhaaaa, an all white NBA team. I'm sure that's an understatement in saying that was a long season. But in MLB...it just. might. WORK!

Looks good.

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Hockessin- The Houston Astros and the Cracker Jacks have agreed to a deal that will send Matt Holliday to Hockessin for Nick Markakis and two minor league players to be named later. The Astros cited a need for young talent to make the deal.

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HOCKESSIN- David Wright propelled the Cracker Jacks past the St. Louis Cardinals. Hockessin used Wright's 3 RBIs to push past the Red Birds 6-4. Ryan Freel went 3 for 4 with a walk, and Jason Schmidt went six innings for his first win. Aramis Ramirez connected on his first home run of the year for St. Louis. "I'm very happy with this win," Fraizer said. "Hopefully our bats can show up with some power next game."

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Matt Murton cannot catch Ramirez's home run

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David Wright's bases loaded double

Box Score

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CRACKER JACKS BEAT CARDS 3-1

HOCKESSIN- The Hockessin Cracker Jacks improved to 2-0 behind Brad Penny's strong start. Penny (1-0) went seven strong innings, scattering six hits, while striking out five. David Wright put Hockessin on the board first with an RBI single in the first frame. Josh Bard followed with a single of his own, and Bard later walked in a run later in the game. Also in the first, Matt Murotn robbed Aramis Ramirez of a home run. "I guess I proved that white men can jump," Murton said. Billy Wagner struck out two to record his second save in as many games.

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Aramis Ramirez is thrown out a third

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Matt Murton robs Ramirez of a home run in the first

Box Score

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Before the final game against St. Louis, the Cracker Jacks announced two trades that will solidify the line-up.

HOK gets:

Jason Bay

Bill Bray (AA pitcher)

Chris Capauano

NYY gets:

Ted Lilly

Matt Holliday

Aaron Hill

HOK gets:

Stephen Drew

ATL gets:

Johnny Gomes

PTBNL

$$$

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CRACKERS WIN GAME, BUT LOSE KENNEDY

HOCKESSIN- The Cracker Jacks completed the sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals with a 5-1 victory, but lost starter Joe Kennedy with a fractured leg. Kennedy's first pitch of the game drilled his knee, sending him out for 45 days. Luckily for the Cracker Jacks, Charlie Haeger came in on relief, pitching seven innings, striking out four. The knuckleballer was nearly unhittable.

Hockessin went up 1-0 early on Mark Teixiera's RBI single and then 2-0 on Dan Uggla's RBI double. The Cardinal's lone run came on pitcher Doug Waetcher's solo home run in the third out of the dirt.

"I don't know how he was able to hit that out," Haeger said. "I guess he was trying to stick it to the man."

In the fifth and sixth innings, both Teixiera and Jason Bay went yard in the respective innings. Teixiera's solo shot in the fifth travelled 456 feet, onto the yard of a house across the street. Bay's second home run of the year just cleared the left center fied wall.

"I knew I hit it hard, but wow," Teixiera said. "Good thing I didn't hit it 460, I would have to pay for a new window."

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Teixiera flips his bat, while Blanco admires the 456 foot HR

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Waetcher's solo home run

Box Score

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CRACKER JACKS LOSE FIRST

HOCKESSIN- The Cracker Jacks lost their first game of the season to the Los Angelos Dodgers 6-3. Hockessin starting pitcher Brad Hennessey lasted only five innings.

Ben Broussard and Yuniskey Bentancourt led the way for the Dodgers, going a combined 6 for 10 with four RBIs and four runs.

After Hennessey (0-1) was chased in the sixth, Billy Traber, recently called up from AAA came into the game, allowed two earned runs on four hits.

All Cracker Jack players minus David Wright had a hit in the game, led by Josh Bard's two hits and an RBI.

"This loss is a total let down," manager Blaze Fraizer said. "We had to scramble our starting rotation to accomodate Kennedy's injury. I only hope that Hennessey can straighten somethings out before too long. He won't last too long in suburbia if he cannot."

Box Score

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