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Royally Screwed Over


Lucas

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I made some huge *** mistakes with this girl I pretty much love, and basically the only way to redeem myself is ask her to be my girlfriend.

We got talking about things, and then I said "I wish there was a relationship status on Facebook that said: Almost in a relationship but just too chicken **** to do anything about it but is secretly contemplating it afterall" So she took it the wrong way, but I was trying to drop hints about asking her out tomorrow.

So I did all this on MSN Messenger, so she thought I was being shallow and immature, which I was afraid of. So basically I went against my conscience and it kicked me right back in the bum. Infact, the only reason I told her anything was because I couldn't hold it in much longer. We already had something going, but now I basically screwed myself over in five minutes flat.

Anyway, she said we should talk it out tomorrow, and I first need to redeem myself by talking to her and then ask her out. So I'm I a bit of a pickle.

Any ideas to help?

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you should have asked her today. or were you going to ask her face to face tommorow on a date or something like that?

face to face.

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you might me screwed. you prolly have a 50/50 chance now, but if you waited you had her 100%. she'll probably still go out with you though. i wouldnt be too worried.

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Well I think that's a stupid thing for her to get mad over, but there are girls that are like that unfortunately. Talking about that kind of stuff through AIM, MSN, YAHOO, etc doesn't usually turn out for the best as some things can be interpreted the wrong way very very easily. The best advice I have for you is to talk it out with her tomorrow face to face, not over the phone or online, and if you guys are really meant to be with each other then you guys will be able to solve the issue no problem. And btw, sometimes the best thing is to just let the girl you like know how you really feel. Trust me, I regret things I never had the courage to do and wondering "what could have been" much more than what i've already done. Hope that i've helped even a little and good luck man

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Man, you're in a tough position. I'm no good with girls my self, I made one wrong move like you and she took it the wrong way. I hope you sort things out. :)

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she thought I was being shallow and immature, which I was afraid of.

time for my Dr. Phil moment...

I've always thought asking a girl out online, through an email, etc. was cowardly, and she probably thinks the same. She's probably looking for a guy that has enough confidence to talk to her in person.

If I were you, I'd try to work up the courage to find her and talk to her in person and tell her how you feel and why you said what you said. There's nothing to be ashamed of if you do that, even if she says she's not interested. That's the worst she could say, unless she doesn't really know you, in which case she might say that you're crazy and walk away laughing.

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Thanks guys. Randu, I know EXACTLY what you've been through. Man, sometimes you really gotta kick yourself hard to do something that really takes guts to do. Sometimes you gotta go for it, other times you can only watch the boats sail away..

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If I were you, I'd try to work up the courage to find her and talk to her in person and tell her how you feel and why you said what you said. There's nothing to be ashamed of if you do that, even if she says she's not interested. That's the worst she could say, unless she doesn't really know you, in which case she might say that you're crazy and walk away laughing.

Haha, I think I can get around it. We're really good friends so it wouldn't be so weird. Thanks.

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remember the "I was just playin" rule. it NEVER FAILS.

LMAO.

So true, but I'm a little deeper in than anything the Just Playin' card can help with.

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yep, I've seen my share of boats sailing away, but ever since ive learned to just simply trust my conscience and do what I feel is right. I mean seriously, what is the worst that could happen..rejection? Its not like you're going to die or the world is going to end if she doesn't go out with you. Its her loss, not yours if she doesn't go out with you...there are literally millions of other girls out there.

remember the "I was just playin" rule. it NEVER FAILS.

with someone else.

"Baby, I think you...*cough* I mean we need to go on a diet"

"I was just playin"

Im pretty sure it would never work in that scenario lmao xD

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Lucas, if you don't mind me asking, what age are you (and this girl)? If you don't feel comfortable you could give me a range... like:

A. 14 or under

B. 15 to 17

C. 18 to 20

D. 21 or over

I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm just asking because I think the answer would greatly affect what kind of advice people might give you.

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When I first saw the name of this thread, I rolled my eyes because I thought it was another Kansas City Royals dynasty

haha thats also what I thought when I first read it

hmm..

Royally Screwed Over:

The Story of a Newly Appointed Kansas City Royals Manager

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Lucas, if you don't mind me asking, what age are you (and this girl)? If you don't feel comfortable you could give me a range... like:

A. 14 or under

B. 15 to 17

C. 18 to 20

D. 21 or over

I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm just asking because I think the answer would greatly affect what kind of advice people might give you.

17 & 17

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i wouldnt suggest EVER making a move over the internet, that's just kinda wimpy, atleast say it on the phone even though that still seems kinda weird to me, face to face is always the best thing to do... ask her out to a movie or something and go eat after and just see how it goes and if it goes well just be like i like you and bla bla bal

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The main idea behind the advice that people are dropping here is that you develop the confidence to do what you want to do in person.

It's a whole different ballgame when you do things in person, because you can't determine someone's intentions behind an IP address online.

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I made some huge **** mistakes with this girl I pretty much love, and basically the only way to redeem myself is ask her to be my girlfriend.

We got talking about things, and then I said "I wish there was a relationship status on Facebook that said: Almost in a relationship but just too chicken **** to do anything about it but is secretly contemplating it afterall" So she took it the wrong way, but I was trying to drop hints about asking her out tomorrow.

So I did all this on MSN Messenger, so she thought I was being shallow and immature, which I was afraid of. So basically I went against my conscience and it kicked me right back in the bum. Infact, the only reason I told her anything was because I couldn't hold it in much longer. We already had something going, but now I basically screwed myself over in five minutes flat.

Anyway, she said we should talk it out tomorrow, and I first need to redeem myself by talking to her and then ask her out. So I'm I a bit of a pickle.

Any ideas to help?

First of all Lucas, what KC said here is what I think the best thing to do:

The main idea behind the advice that people are dropping here is that you develop the confidence to do what you want to do in person.

It's a whole different ballgame when you do things in person, because you can't determine someone's intentions behind an IP address online.

Of course, saying and doing it is two different things.

Look, I am no expert on this, in fact I know I am not. For me to give you advice on this makes as much sense as me going up to Alex Rodriguez and telling him how to hit.

But, I will try.

One of the toughest things to do is to tell someone how you feel about them. The fear of rejection or being laughed at can be built up in your mind that it literally cripples you into not acting on your intentions. That's how it was for me Lucas. When I was in high school I never went to my Junior Prom or Senior Ball because I was afraid to ask someone. So while they both went on, I was home. And all because I was afraid.

To this day I don't know what would have happened if I had asked. But I had it built up in my mind that it was not going to turn out well for me and I didn't ask. This is a regret that I have carried around for many years now. I know now that even if I got rejected at least I would have known for sure. And if they do laugh, well you know what? It makes them look worse than you feel.

If any of you guys think this is funny about what I just wrote, that's ok. It was years ago. Trouble is, if this were to happen to me in 2007, the same thing would happen again. I'm still the same.

If she wants to see you today, you are not in a pickle, as you say. Just take a deep breath and tell her what you were trying to say last night on the computer. Trust me, the honest and the direct approach is the best.

Of course, best of luck!

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im with cubs720 on that royals dynasty thing....

my answer, which should likely be ignored, is to walk up to her and say,

"how YOU doin????"

with a big joey tribiani smile

no but seriously, have confidence in yourself... and you'll be fine

at least you know who you like... at the moment i cant decide......

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There is one thing--ONE SINGLE THING--that I do and that you must do to get past any sort of failure, either in dating or in life:

Learn from what you did wrong, if anything, then forget it and move on.

EVERYONE FAILS AT SOME POINT. You cannot succeed every time you try, but you can learn from your failures, believe in yourself and your abilities, and try again, strengthen by the knowledge that comes from experience.

Getting the girl, and women in general, starts with confidence. At it's core, confidence comes from the internal belief that you can accomplish the task at hand.

Y4L, you spoke about how you feared getting rejected or laughed at when you asked someone to go to the prom with you in your younger days, but always remember that there have been many times in life where people have gotten something or achieved something because they tried where others begged off, because they threw their hat in the ring when others kept theirs on their head.

From the time I was 13 until I got out of high school, I was determined to be a DJ, and in my dreams, a professional DJ. I mixed music every day all day. I tried my best...and I wasn't good enough. In fact, I wasn't even close. It was comical really, that I thought I could mix enough music to throw parties everywhere people requested me to show up in. I mean, I can mix music and stuff, but I am just not in the league with club DJ's, much less the pros. But that failure is relatively easy for me to deal with, because at least I know I tried, whereas most people never even do that.

The main idea being that I'd rather try my best and fail, then risk nothing, and gain nothing.

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