Girl Help

[superciuc]

Lucas is right. Really, i still can't understand what girls want.

[TheFallenPhoenix]

this is fallen phoenix's girlfriend stepping in again.

kudos on the respecting her thing. i believe i mentioned that, too, and it's a good idea. respect is key, and it makes a difference to women. sure, a lot of times girls date jerks, because they think that the "dangerous" type is hot, or something... but if she's not an immature idiot (and why would you be friends with someone who is?), then she'll probably respond to being treated well.

KC:

friendship does NOT necessarily make dating impossible. i've had boyfriends who were some of my best friends first, and still are. it makes break-ups harder, but it's not as hard to cross the line as you make it sound. also, i'm sorry that some b*tch of a girl treated you badly, but you can't assume that all girls are that way. certainly, it happens, but if you assume all women are evil, and treat them with that skepticism instead of allowing them to meet the real you, then, yes, they will resent you when they find out.

also, girls are not robots... they're all different. they like different things, and different kinds of guys. i suppose it's fair to say that we don't want men who are too sensitive, or too harsh. but, most people are somewhere in the middle. this is why people have "types." and, some girls hate rainbows and unicorns. here is where friendship IS handy... you have some idea of what she's into.

i realize that many of you find girls complicated. guess what! when i was in high school, all the girls sat around talking about how complicated guys are. that's just how it is. i know it seems like there's a language barrier, but there doesn't have to be. i'm trying to give insight into how reasonable girls DO think. because i've been there. and, the unreasonable whack-job girls... well, not even other girls understand them.

kazmir:

i will say not to push the issue too much with her verbally. like lucas said, actions speak louder than words. i repeat my advice from my last post... show her a good time at the dance, and tell her if you have a good time. it's not too direct, but if she's not dense, and if she feels the same way, she'll understand. if she doesn't feel the same way, then she won't look as deeply into it, and all she'll get out of it is that you had a good time. i know that that's how i was at that age. if someone who i only liked as a friend said he had fun hanging out, i'd think he wanted to keep hanging out as friends, and we would. if i liked him as more than a friend, and he told me he had fun hanging out with me, i would assume that he liked me too, and then i'd suggest something more date-like. and, if she's a good friend of yours, as you've said she is, then i have a feeling that it will go down in one of those two ways, and either is fine. and, if you keep things up to her interpretation (such as saying "i had fun," and waiting for her reaction, instead of saying "i had fun, let's go on a date sometime," and risking some awkwardness), worst case scenario is your friendship being strengthened... which i'd imagine is not a bad thing.

don't let any of these guys scare you into thinking it's a lost cause. the most logical posts i've been reading are the ones telling you to be yourself, and to treat her respectfully and kindly. kindness isn't cliché... it's a good way to treat all people, and especially people you care about. and, if she's liked you as a person enough to want to be your friend, and enough to talk you into going to the dance, i don't think you need to be too worried. follow your instincts, and do what feels right, so long as she seems to agree with your actions... because, usually, if it feels alarmingly right, it is.

[RaysFTW]

You know what guys. It's kinda over. She just talked to me and she said that the only reason she convinced me is because she felt sorry. She had a friend earlier say she doesnt' want to dance with me or anything. The thing is I'm not mad at the girl I used to like, I'm just mad at myself for asking her, but I think this is one of the moment's G*d wants you to remember and take into learning from it.

[Kccitystar]

KC:

friendship does NOT necessarily make dating impossible. i've had boyfriends who were some of my best friends first, and still are. it makes break-ups harder, but it's not as hard to cross the line as you make it sound. also, i'm sorry that some b*tch of a girl treated you badly, but you can't assume that all girls are that way. certainly, it happens, but if you assume all women are evil, and treat them with that skepticism instead of allowing them to meet the real you, then, yes, they will resent you when they find out.

also, girls are not robots... they're all different. they like different things, and different kinds of guys. i suppose it's fair to say that we don't want men who are too sensitive, or too harsh. but, most people are somewhere in the middle. this is why people have "types." and, some girls hate rainbows and unicorns. here is where friendship IS handy... you have some idea of what she's into.

i realize that many of you find girls complicated. guess what! when i was in high school, all the girls sat around talking about how complicated guys are. that's just how it is. i know it seems like there's a language barrier, but there doesn't have to be. i'm trying to give insight into how reasonable girls DO think. because i've been there. and, the unreasonable whack-job girls... well, not even other girls understand them.

Friendship does make dating impossible. The sex part will always get in the way. And yes, all guys will want to nail their female friends.

I understand that girls are different and their tastes in guys vary, and that's what I was trying to explain when I said that men have to find a balance between being overly nice and overly harsh. I agree that all guys are in the middle, however there's many variables that may drift you to either side. Maybe you're a ninja pirate with a soft spot for soap operas? Maybe you're a sensitive guy but you like to hunt deer and chop trees? It's all too sophisticated.

[DoubleD]

"There is no such thing as failure, only a learning experience"

[Kccitystar]

"There is no such thing as failure, only a learning experience"

I see your quote and raise you one of these bad boys:

"An idiot repeats his mistakes. A smart man learns from his mistakes. A genius learns from the mistake of others."

[D-Unit]

"Failure is a far greater teacher than success."

For years I regretting being the good friend, but eventually playing the nice guy role is going to be in your favor, because when that girl notices you, your relationship is gonna be a lot better.

[NYM]

If you want a girlfriend, don't go for someone thats been your friend, because if something awkwards happens or you break up, your friendship will never be the same.

Check out that girls friends. That way you can hang out with your friend thats the girl, and develop a rlationship with one of her friends.

idk, thats the way it happened to me, unintentionally of course.

The best way to find a girl is find something in common. Sports, band, hobbies, etc.

Just watch out for the ones that don't ever leave you alone. You don't want a psycho wanting to know where you are and who your hanging out with every 5 min. That's what your parents are for.