Equal Time For E-Mail Senders

[Yankee4Life]

I get e-mails from relatives a lot and they are probably the same e-mails you receive. Jokes passed down from one to another and when one person gets it he or she just has to send it to everyone on their mailing list. Never mind that you've seen it before. It's always one of two things. Either it is an e-mail that begs you "not to break the chain and to send it to ten of your closest friends as soon as you can." When that happens to me I send it back to the sender. Ten times. And the other one is the joke e-mails. While I do admit some are good, most of them that I get have the same theme. Use a man as the butt of the jokes. Make fun of a man somehow. Show everyone that the man is incompetent by exploiting something he does for humor. Ha Ha Ha.

Fine. It's funny once or twice but I have never come across anything that puts the woman in a humorous light. And I know why of course. It's because it is the woman that sends all these e-mails. This is what they know how to do. Get mail. Read mail. Write mail. Send mail. That and buying stuff online is the extent of what a woman does online. Men don't get into sending and forwarding these e-mails that much. I know I don't. Every time they tell me to send it on its way because it has been forwarded to everyone since 2006, I forward it to my trash bin.

Especially the "men are stupid" ones. Well, here's my answer to those e-mails. Hope you enjoy it.

[MarkB]

:lol: Oh, man, Y4L, you do not want to get me started on this subject. I'll have the Feminist Bitches of America knowing on Trues' door with a whole truckload of complaints. What I will say though, is that I find it absolutely hilarious how things that were written by women 50 or 60 years ago would now be considered incredibly sexist, and God help you if you even think of them in front of a woman. Say them? Psssh, fuggedaboutit.

However, I'm sure I can provide a few lulz.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

Why don't women need a wristwatch?

There's a clock on the cooker.

Want to hear a great joke?

Women's rights.

Why do women get married in white?

So they match the kitchen appliances.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?

Made her chain too long.

Why did the woman cross the road?

It doesn't matter, what was she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

Pregnant.

A motorcyclist hits a woman while riding his bike. Whose fault is it?

The man's. He shouldn't have been riding his bike in the kitchen.

I generally stay away from the battered women jokes, although some can be humorous. Not really for here, though.

And, finally, I'll post this little beauty, which I just came across the other day, and if I can find an unedited copy, I fully intend to print it and stick it to my kitchen door. Perfectly illustrates what I said above with regard to things written by women years ago now being deemed sexist. Baby, if i'm sexist, so is your mother and your grandmother. Get over it.

[Yankee4Life]

Those are damn good Mark, especially that last one.

All I wanted is equal time. I am at the point when I dread getting e-mails from some relatives because of the jokes that are forwarded to me. And I can't say anything because it will probably offend them. So I delete them except for the one that I sent back to one of them ten times. I think they got the message.

EDIT: My favorite one was the last one, the ketchup bottle.