JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Let's get this thing fired up. Gonna be a long winter until baseball starts again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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seanzarelli Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Yankee4Life Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 In Honor of the fairer sex Q: How do you blind a woman? A: You put a windshield in front of her. Q: What's the most common sleeping position of a woman? A: Around. Q: How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? A: She fits into your wife's clothes. Q: How much money do you need to satisfy a woman? A: It is always just a little bit more. Q: What takes up 12 parking spaces? A: 6 Women drivers. Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? A. $4.99 a minute. Q: Why did God create orgasms? A: So women can moan even when they’re happy. Q: What do you call a woman with an opinion? A: Wrong. source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/womenjokes.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 Q: How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? A: She fits into your wife's clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. Nothing. You done told her twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dishnet34 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 I poured root beer into a square cup. Now I just have beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 He went to the Virgin Islands, spent 3 or 4 days to explore. When he left, it was just The Islands - The Most Interesting Man In The World Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabugo Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 (edited) The difference between men and women:http://vivas.fi/what-is-the-difference-between-women-and-men-2/ Edited November 20, 2013 by sabugo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabugo Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 That's pretty funny Jay! Tottenham's real life manager is actually portuguese. That being said, I'm not his biggest fan, he used to coach for a team I truly hate. And because I know you guys in America like to make fun of european soccer, let me just help you with that:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMpxZDS1gSI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordo Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Saw that one earlier Joe....hilarious. Stuff like that all over a few threads at OS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee4Life Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 A Man visits a Brothel The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "Can I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Natalie," the man replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No, I must see Natalie" was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills and gave them to Natalie and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night the same man appeared again, demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row-too expensive -- and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Natalie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left. The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Natalie and they went upstairs. After their session, Natalie questioned the man. "No one has ever used me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked. The man replied, "South Carolina." "Really?" she said. "I have family in South Carolina." "I know," the man said. "Your father died and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeRudi26 Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 And because I know you guys in America like to make fun of european soccer, let me just help you with that: lol, actually I was making fun of my own ignorance of the game. I've been married to an European (Norwegian) for going on 15 years now. She has tried and tried to explain the game to me, and I just can't make any sense of it. I meant no offense to soccer fans, your passion for the game is unmatched. And BTW, her family will be here next summer and will be watching The World Cup as they did in 2006 and 2010. I have as much fun watching them and their excitement more than anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee4Life Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 A drunk man and a priest A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee4Life Posted November 24, 2013 Share Posted November 24, 2013 The best laid plans... A guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it, and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know how it goes." The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist goes to work and finds the same guy waiting for him on the door-step. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?" The guy replies, "Quick, I need Blue Ice (muscle pain relief). The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive." The guy says, "No, no, It's not for that, it's for my arm." Pharmacist: "What?? What happened?" Guy replies, "Well...I drank the whole bottle of your potion." Pharmacist: "Oh my god, and then what ? " "The girls never showed up!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee4Life Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 The wrong house. Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Harold," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Harold?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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