Yankee4Life

ENOUGH!

I agree with you all the way here Sabathia Era. But we can't be talking about this in this thread. This is reserved for daflyboys' posts about the latest MLB moves. If we start talking about other things in here it will take away from what he's doing. No problems, you just made a comment. As for you, you have your own thread here where you post images of your newest cyberfaces. Why are you coming in here to do it now? Please don't do this again. This thread is just for transactions and this is handled by someone else. Thank you.

Thank you. Obviously he is more than welcome to do it. I hope you had a nice holiday.

I don't know about anyone else but this makes less and less sense each time I read it.

I have no idea what you are talking about and to be totally honest here I don't understand what your post meant at all. I read it a couple of times and still can not figure it out.

Exactly what is that supposed to mean?

I thought so. I'm going to pretend I was never here.

Fixed EXE?? What do you mean?

This week, another modder that made extremely popular uniforms during the time he was here and a modder who was responsible for making some of the most accurate and visually impressive stadiums that were uploaded to this website. BigBully If you enjoyed the other uniforms that were highlighted from other modders in the past weeks and months here then you will enjoy the contributions from BigBully. His main concentration was present day (at that time) Major League uniforms and minor league uniform, many of which can now be considered throwbacks due to team affiliation change or new uniform concepts over the years. Modern Brooklyn Dodgers uniforms. 2007 Syracuse Chiefs Uniforms. 2006 Springfield Cardinals. 2006 Norfolk Tides. 2006 Brewers Sunday Home Uniforms. Vintage Astros Pack. The Big O The Big O was a precise, attention-to-detail stadium modder and the constant updating of his stadium mods were reminiscent of PaulW, who has already been featured here. His Oriole Park at Camden Yards and Fenway Park have been downloaded over ten thousand times making it one of most popular mods on the website. Oriole Park at Camden Yards v5.5. The Big O's Fenway Park. The Big O's Fenway Park Lite. Lighter texture version that solved crashing problems on some machines. The Big O's Fort Lauderdale Stadium.

Updated to 12-1 ...December sure got here quick, didn't it? ...I hope that everyone here had a good holiday and that you weekend is just as good. I did my part on Thursday to rid the world of stuffing and mashed potatoes and like the Raiders in the second half of their game I ran out of gas early. ...Every year my wife feeds me the same line of her not wanting to go out shopping on Black Friday because she has no desire to fight those crowds like she did last year and the year before that. Sure enough Friday morning rolled around and before I knew it she was putting her coat on and walking out the door because "there were just a couple things" that she had to get. Reminding her of what she said the day before about not going she told me she said that before she had a good chance to look at the ads. If I didn't know any better I would say that sales advertisements in the paper have subliminal messages that only women can see that make them leave their homes to go shopping. Five hours later she came home looking like she just finished a ten-mile hike, which very well could have been close to the truth considering how many times she walked the mall. After waking up from her nap she swore that she wasn't going to do this next year. Sure I remarked to myself. Just don't read the ads. ...Last week Kim Kardashian went on eBay to sell some of clothes and accessories to raise funds for the victims of the typhoon in the Philippines. On the surface this seemed like a very nice thing to do because what happened there hit those people quick and they lost just about everything in a short amount of time. But these are Kardashians and they have been known to never do anything if they do not put themselves first and this little "charity" bit of hers was nothing but more of the same. Somehow someone discovered that 90% of the profits that she was making from the sales of her items were going directly to her bank account and only 10% were going to be sent to the Philippine Islands. Considering the source this shouldn't have surprised anyone. It's true humanitarian efforts like this that really tell you a lot about someone. ...Hey, Brian McCann is now a Yankee. What a signing! What a move! We're on our way back now! Is this the way we should look at the latest Yankee millionaire that they plucked from another team? The way I see it this is just another example of the Yanks not having faith/patience in the players that they already have. Austin Romine was never given a decent chance to fill the job and now he's either going to be the backup or is going to be traded somewhere that will give him a chance. I have absolutely nothing against Brian McCann and from the little I saw of him when I tuned into the Braves games he was very good but at the same time f*** him because I'm not going to get excited looking at the numbers he put up for some other team. I made that mistake when they brought Burnett and Teixeira on board. Let's see what he does in the Bronx before we start patting ourselves on the back. ...Microsoft is a perfect example of what it means when you hear the saying that there are lies, damn lies and statistics. They announced last Tuesday that the sales for the XBox One also sold one million units, just as the Playstation 4 did on their launch date on the fifteenth of November. And it's true. They're not lying. However they failed to mention that the one million Xbox One units sold came from a 13-territory release that included North America, Brazil, and much of Europe. Sony's one million PS4 consoles were sold in North America alone. It took them a few more countries but by God they showed Sony that they can keep up with them. ...If I really wanted to I could fill this entire space every week with things that people find to complain about that will make you think that I lie in bed at night thinking them up. Take this Rhodes scholar in Missouri for example. Her license expired and the state sent her a new pair of plates. As you know, the numbers on license plates are randomly picked by computer unless you're one to pay the extra cash for vanity plates. Well, this woman gets her plates and immediately wants to send them back because she received WHO R8X as her new plates. I couldn't figure out what got her so upset. Who...R8...rate is how I saw it. Not this woman. She was more insightful then I was. The state of Missouri wasn't going to get one past her. What she read on her WHO R8X license plate was “whore eight times” and that was that. She filed a complaint with the state and asked for a replacement but she was told that she would have to pay a fee of seventeen dollars for a brand new set of number. All she had to do was stick a crowbar in her purse and pull out a twenty and her problem would have been solved. Instead she ran to a local TV station and gave them her sob story and they ran with it and it made national news, which is how I heard of it. It just goes to show that there are people who will be offended by anything, even if it doesn't actually exist and it's going to get worse because the media makes these people fifteen minute celebrities. God knows what the next one is going to be. ...I usually like to play a couple games of MVP a week where I randomly pick a season mod and for the entire week just use that mod. The reason why I bring this up now is because last week thanks to a website that has old games hosted there for download (for a price of course) I was playing baseball games that I was playing as far back as twenty years ago. The website is called Old Games which I am sure a lot of you are familiar with. While poking around in there I found so many games that I wanted to get. So I signed up for a one month membership that cost me $8.95 just so I could get them all. You can download them for free but the server that handles the freebee downloads must be somewhere in Siberia because it is the slowest I've ever come across. Naturally this is done on purpose just to get you to sign up and I'm proof of that. Now this site isn't for all of you. People that are used to the stunning graphics on the Playstation systems will laugh at how these games look. Visually appealing these games were not. It's like looking at a woman who wears thick glasses and has her hair in a bun. At first glance you may not think she's all that but let her take those frames off her face and let her hair down and you'll see her in a completely different way. That's what Hardball 3, 4 and 5, Tony Larussa 2 and 3, Oldtime Baseball and ESPN Baseball Tonight all had in common. They will not score points graphically but given the chance they'll surprise you on how good they are. Those are the games I downloaded last week. It occurred to me that for those of you guys who were not playing computer baseball two decades ago you may find it hard to believe that there were so many different baseball games out there to get. At one time I had all seven of these games installed on my computer and let me tell you I wore every one of them out and I always was looking for another one to play. And there were others. That's how things were before this exclusive license nonsense started. I know I won't be playing these games a lot because Mvp has that much of a hold on me. I felt guilty because I didn't play that game last week and if you think I'm crazy for saying that join the fraternity. But it is nice to know I can now. Best nine dollars I spent in a long time. ...The first thing I thought of after I finished my trip down memory lane was how good would companies like Accolade, Acclaim, Stormfront Studios and 3DO make baseball games today? These people put 2K sports to shame. ...Prince Fielder was introduced to the Rangers media people in Arlington last Monday with a new haircut and wearing a broad smile on his face and if you think you've seen that act before, you're right. Because this is exactly what he did two years ago when he met the Tiger press corps for the first time. The guy can turn on the charm when he wants to as he answered every question put to him without his usual surly attitude. He'll be saving that for when the season starts when his average dips closer to the .250 mark. Ranger fans who are expecting a lot out of him must not have watched him for the past two years with Detroit, especially in the post season where his numbers were so bad that he made Alex Rodriguez look good. ...Sit down and be quiet Dept: An eleven-year-old girl who is apparently quite the baseball nut has taken her enthusiasm for the Chicago Cubs to a new level and some people that sit near her and her father at Wrigley Field have let her know how much her cheering has begun to grate on them. These complaints began as soon as the season ended last month and why someone waited to post this online during the Thanksgiving week wasn't explained. Maybe they just forgot. This kid is at all the Cubs games because her father is a season ticket holder and when the crowd around her is quiet she takes that opportunity to try and lead the people around her into a chant of "Let's go, Cubbies!" And when the late innings roll around and the Cubs are behind she does the same thing to get the fans going so they can try and help rally the Cubs. By doing this every game some people around her have become fed up with her constant yelling and the complain has even reached the Cubs front office and they even asked her to tone it down a notch, so you can imagine what a healthy set of lungs this kid has. There's an easy remedy for this of course and I'm kind of surprised that no one has thought of it before. When Opening Day rolls around next April someone in her section should present her with a book on the history of the Chicago Cubs. After reading that she'll know that there's no reason to cheer. ...Actor Alec Baldwin is a hot-head. There's no way around that. Like everyone else he says things that he shouldn't when he's angry and I think because of that the paparazzi that follow him around take advantage of this and goad him into losing his temper so they can get it on film and record his words at the same time. Not too long ago he insulted one of these photographers that were hovering over his wife and child and called him a name that you could only say in an R rated movie without having it bleeped out. This slur bought him a two week suspension from his radio show on MSNBC and now after thinking it over a bit more they decided to cancel his show outright, which really shouldn't have astonished anyone. There's freedom of speech but to a point. He didn't say this while he was working or being interviewed or dealing with fans. He said this to an intrusive photographer that was harassing his family and I don't think he should have been suspended or fired for that. I don't know how it feels to be hounded and chased by photographers constantly so I don't know what I'd do. The only thing Baldwin did wrong here was apologize. ...Ted Lilly retired last week and I was sad to hear about it. He was another one of the long line of young Yankee pitchers that they never gave a proper chance to and if they had he could have been a solid starter for them for many years. Instead he was just that for other teams. The Yankees had him at the beginning of the last decade and he was involved in a three-team trade in July of 2002 that brought the Yankees Jeff Weaver, and any Yankee fan will tell you how well that turned out. I'll never forget one of Lilly's final games with the Yankees. It was a complete game three hit shutout of the Padres in San Diego. Lilly's big problem during his short time with the Yankees was that he wasn't a superstar and because of that didn't get a lot of playing time. Maybe it was better that he got out of there.

Wally Pipp Wally Pipp is the guy that lost his job to Lou Gehrig, who just happens to the greatest first baseman in baseball history. But Pipp was hardly a slouch on the field. And he was rarely off the field, missing just a handful of games over the previous four seasons before Gehrig took his job in 1925. In fact, Pipp anchored Yankee pennant winners in 1921, 1922 and the championship 1923 team, which were the Yanks first. He was coming off a career year in 1924 when he hit .295 with nine home runs, 114 RBI and an American League-leading 19 triples. As the story goes, that day Pipp told Yankee Manager Miller Huggins that he had a headache, and Huggins replaced him with Gehrig in the Yankee lineup. Lou Gehrig, who had pinch hit for Yankee shortstop Pee Wee Wanninger the previous day to start his famous consecutive games streak, didn’t sit down for nearly 15 years, 2,130 games later. Pipp’s recollection of that day is somewhat hazy. Decades later, in a 1953 interview, he recounted that he did have a headache—because he had been beaned in batting practice. That’s not exactly how it went down. In fact, Pipp was a pinch-hitter the very next day, June 3, after his supposed beaning. Although Pipp never started another game at first base for the Yankees, Gehrig didn’t exactly tear the league apart in 1925, and Huggins had pinch hit for a few times because the Yankees’ manager was disappointed in Gehrig’s performance against left-handers. Pipp’s beaning took place exactly a month later—on July 2. According to various accounts he suffered a fractured skull or a concussion—certainly more than a headache. He played sparingly the rest of the season and was shipped to Cincinnati at the end of it. Pipp had a solid career and was one of the best first basemen of his era. He led the American League in home runs with 12 in 1916 and nine in 1917. He hit .281 for this career, with 90 HRs, 997 RBI and 1,941 hits.

This is NOT the thread to ask for something like this. This thread is about a user thanking the modders for the work they do around here and you come in asking for an updated roster.

I've dealt with people like this too for the short time I was on Xbox live when I had the very first Xbox. I was playing a baseball game against someone and they abruptly quit on me because I threw some pitches out of the strike zone and they were anxious enough to go fishing for it. The first time I got a "WTF" the second time I was told that I "didn't know how to pitch" and then the third and last time they just quit.

This week we look at a modder who, as strange as it may sound, has mods that no one needs to download any longer (which I will explain) and at the same time was responsible for an idea that is still going strong today and a modder that used his imagination to create some of the best fantasy uniforms around. Fuzzone The next time you are on the main page of this website and you see the impressive number of Total Classics mods available you have Fuzzone here to thank for that. Not many people here know but Total Classics began with an idea from Fuzzone to import the rosters and portraits of famous teams into Mvp Baseball 2004. That's right, Total Classics began with Mvp 2004 when Fuzzone and many others I should add created the first Total Classics mod for that game. The first release did not have 120 teams as you see today as it only replaced some of the minor league teams in the AAA slot. This idea proved to be so popular that eventually a complete game overhaul was created as it replaced every team from the majors down to A ball with famous "classic" teams of the past. Later versions of course were made for Mvp 2005 and eventually over time Jim825 has taken over the lead with the Total Classics series, now in its tenth version. The popularity of Total Classics paved the way for the eventual creation of the classic season mods here, a practice that is still going on today. To explain why I said that he has mods that you don't need to download any longer is a lot of his work here is for Mvp 2004 and the portrait sets and team packages that he made for that game you have already if you have Total Classics. And as popular as Total Classics was his Mvp Studio program for Mvp 2005 was just as good. But it was made before the newer operating systems like Vista and Windows 7 and 8. For Mvp 2005 Mvp Studio 2006 Uniform Editor Final. Does not work well with Vista, Win 7 or 8. This was made for Windows XP. For Mvp 2004 1966 Houston Astros Uniforms. Thome25 Thome25 is another one of those uniform modders who is not well known these days among the newer users but that does not mean to say his uniform contributions should be dismissed because his fantasy and retro uniforms are among the best ever made and his 1869 Red Stockings set (featured below) may have been his best work of all. Red Sox History Pack. Marlins Fantasy Home Uniform. Braves Alternate Home Uniform. 2X Reds Home Fantasy Uniform. InSainn's Fantasy Cubs Uniform. 1869 Cincinnati Red Stocking Uniforms.

Nice revival of an old thread and also a very nice looking wallpaper.

The best laid plans... A guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it, and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know how it goes." The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist goes to work and finds the same guy waiting for him on the door-step. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?" The guy replies, "Quick, I need Blue Ice (muscle pain relief). The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive." The guy says, "No, no, It's not for that, it's for my arm." Pharmacist: "What?? What happened?" Guy replies, "Well...I drank the whole bottle of your potion." Pharmacist: "Oh my god, and then what ? " "The girls never showed up!"

Updated to 11-24 ...Derek Jeter announced last week that he is going to partner with publishing house Simon & Schuster to start his own imprint called Jeter Publishing, a subsidiary which will concentrate on adult non-fiction and children’s books. Sounds like a good idea to me and I wish him well. In fact I can't wait until he devotes all his time to this job and retires from baseball. One thing he'd better get straight right away is that Simon & Schuster isn't the Yankees and that means they won't be required to kiss his a$$. ...More than one million Playstation 4 console systems were sold in the first twenty-four hours they were put on the shelves last week. That's pretty impressive when you consider that each system sold for $399 and that doesn't factor in if people bought an extra controller ($59) or the Playstation Plus 12-month subscription card ($49) along with it. This thing was so hot that if they had two million available to sell that day they'd have done it. You'd all know if I had got one because all of a sudden I wouldn't be here for two weeks. ...Patiently waiting for someone to post online wondering about the PS 5. ...I saw an article last week about a woman in Portland, Oregon who calls herself a professional cuddler and has a business where people come to her and pay her to snuggle with them for a certain amount of time. And after I read that it reminded me of something that I was going to write about in here around a year ago but never did. You see, we have one of these cuddling businesses right near where I live. And I mean right near where I live, like ten minutes away from my house. Like with most things I got curious and I went to their website and read about it but I really didn't take it seriously at all since it's not something I'd ever do. When I told my wife about this she thought I was making this up until I showed her the website and then I jokingly asked her if I could go there just for the forty-five minute session. That little request got me in the doghouse for a few days. Just when you think you know somebody. ...The real reason why I never would want to go to one of these cuddling people is that I would either fall asleep during the session or get my face slapped. ...Brother, Can You Spare A Dime, Dept: Last week I wrote about waiting for the mechanic shop to call to let me know what was wrong with my car. True to their word they did call and they did let me have it. There were three problems with the car. The mass air flow censor that sends air to the engine had to be replaced. So did the ignition switch and I needed a new brake line in the front of the car. Other than that things were fine. Total cost: $700. ...Coming to theaters near you in 2015 is going to be the sequel of It's a Wonderful Life and it's going to be called It's a Wonderful Life: The Rest of the Story. For sixty-seven years we all thought that movie was done once they started singing Auld Lang Syne and the ending credits began but we were apparently wrong. This shouldn't really surprise anyone since every generation or so they remake or embellish A Christmas Carol so it was about time Hollywood got around to ruining this one too. This new film will be about George Bailey's grandson, who like his grandfather is not having a wonderful life. I can just imagine how much changes are going to be made in this new movie. Mr. Potter's grandson runs the drug trafficking in Bedford Falls. Violet Bick's granddaughter owns an escort service and has a soft spot for the Bailey grandson. I hope these two years fly by now! (Sarcastically of course.) ...Thank you to BitsduJour for having a 56% off sale on jAlbum, a software program where I can make photo galleries and then post them online. I've had other photo gallery software before but this one can do so much that I have been losing myself in this. Good thing baseball season is done or else two weeks of games would have gone by and I wouldn't have even known. I have 10 GB of online space to post photos and that's a lot more than I am ever going to need. All I need now is the time to organize what I have and that will be my biggest problem. ...One constant about Walmart is that they've never been a company that has been known to treat their employees fairly and honestly and because of the approaching holidays this has been brought out even more. They pay their workers so poorly that some of them are compelled to organize food drives for other Walmart workers who are unable to support themselves on what they take home in pay from their job. This is because most of their employees do not get forty hours a week and they get little or no benefits. I really had no idea it was this bad and I feel bad for any of you guys on this website who have to work at Walmart. I say have to because I'm sure none of you that do want to. Unfortunately, until people quit shopping at Walmart their actions will never change and every year at this time some person who is struggling to stay afloat has to accept a handout from a co-worker for the holidays. ...After being on death row for fifteen years a man named Joseph Paul Franklin was put to death last Wednesday in Missouri by lethal injection because he was linked to twenty-two killings in the span of four years because he wanted to cause a race war. Along with these murders he admitted that he was the person who tried to kill Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt in 1978 and civil rights leader Vernon Jordan in 1980. I had no idea who this guy was until a few days before he died although I remember somewhat the press coverage that surrounded the Flynt shooting because there were some people who were actually glad that he was paralyzed after he was shot just because he ran that magazine but I didn't know this guy was the one who did it. As expected, there were protests from people who didn't want this to happen even though they were well aware of what he did. I'm not going to open up a Pandora's box here by turning this into a comment on the death penalty but if you take a step back you'll see that both sides make good points for what they believe in. I'm all for not killing anyone. That happens enough as it is. But this is a person who did not show a bit of concern for the people he killed until the days leading up to his execution and had he succeeded in his attempt for a race war more people at that time would have been killed. ...Of all the people that you would think that would go to Harvard to deliver a lecture it would be safe to say that Kanye West would not be one of them but last week that is exactly what happened. West gave a lecture at the Harvard Graduate School of Design about architecture, creativity and political commentary. I had to wonder why such a prominent school like Harvard would bring this guy in to talk to some of their students because the only other way that West would have got into Harvard was if he was carrying a broom. ...I give a lot of credit to the Detroit Tigers organization for dumping off Prince Fielder to the Texas Rangers and dumping him is the best way to put it. This was another guy who got an A-Rod type contract and unfortunately for Detroit he put up A-Rod type numbers in the post season. There's a lot of talk about Fielder's weight but I don't see that becoming a problem in Arlington because after he plays in a few home stands down there he'll be shedding off pounds so fast that you'll swear Dee Gordon had a brother. ...Why is it that these other teams can get rid of their big contract players? Isn't there anyone out there that can use a switch-hitting, buck-toothed first baseman who rakes in 23 million a year that gets his share of base hits a year but not one when it really matters? ...Connecting on his first solid hit in two years, Alex Rodriguez pounded his fists on the table at his arbitration hearing last Wednesday and told everyone there that he didn't want to play anymore and was going home because his hearing was not going the way he wanted it to be. Rodriguez was upset that the Commissioner was not called on to testify and was further outraged because he wasn't even required to. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't Rodriguez ask for this hearing and has anyone complained that he has not been on the stand either? I don't know what else is being brought up in these hearings that A-Rod is objecting to but I am sure about one thing. Only guilty people storm out of hearings. ...The more I see the selfies that people take and post online the more I am convinced it is the adult way of saying "hey, look at me" that an annoying child knows how to do so well. ...Don't judge a book, Dept: I went to purchase a lotto ticket the other day and the corner store that I went to is right near a bus stop and there happened to be a woman there waiting for the bus to arrive. She was all alone and was walking back and forth, pointing at something in front of her that only she could see and occasionally waving her arms. I bet no one's going to be bothering her, I said to myself as I walked in the store. It only took me about five minutes to get my lottery ticket and a drink and when I left she was still there talking animately to herself. I'm glancing at her and when I got halfway to my car she suddenly stopped right where she was, grabbed at her ear and screamed I HATE this damn bluetooth! I laughed all the way home. ...I'm surprised that I've never told this story in here before but since it is the Thanksgiving week it seems this is the right time to do it. It is about someone that I used to work with who had an appetite that was, well, the only way that I can put it is legendary. On one Thanksgiving that he spent with his girlfriend and her extremely large family, five different kinds of turkeys were being prepared that day. I only thought there were two different kinds of turkeys - alive or cooked. Along with the turkeys they also cooked two ducks. When it was time to have dinner this guy and one of his girlfriend's cousins were elected to go in the kitchen to carve the birds. After about a minute or so the robust aroma of cooked turkey was getting to them so they decided to have a little slice of the duck. One slice turned into two and when it was time to bring out all the turkeys that is exactly what they did and when someone asked were the ducks were they looked at each other, turned a little red and told everyone that they ate both ducks. You'd think that someone would have been upset about this but everyone at the table could not stop laughing. And if you assume he was done for the day you would not have been more wrong because I got one more for you. Same guy, same appetite and 100% true. Where I worked there used to be an after-work golf league and this guy was in it. Each week after they finished their round of golf they'd get together and do some grilling. One week they decided to make burgers and it was a good thing that they had plenty of them because our hero ate fourteen of them including the bun and then went home and went out to dinner. Hey...I didn't believe this either but this story was confirmed by every single person there and even the guy himself admitted it was true although he added in the end that "the burgers were small." ...Three NFL games are on Thanksgiving Day, which should really make every football fan happy. The second game is always the game that the Cowboys are involved in so that's the time I take my nap but I can't this year because the Raiders are playing. Just so you don't have to look it up here are the three games for Thursday: Green Bay at Detroit, (FOX) Oakland at Dallas (CBS) and the night game is Pittsburgh at Baltimore (NBC.) ...Before I sign off for another week I want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all our members here and that goes to the people who live in other countries that don't celebrate this day. Enjoy the time with your families everyone and I hope you all are able to have that opportunity to do so.

Thanks for your kind post. The modders here on this website are second to none and they make both Mvp and 2K look a lot better. Thank you also for being a contributor. And if you are an Mvp player I would recommend the Total Classics series. Start with any one of them. They are all good.

Using the 1962 mod. Enhanced Boxscore 62BaltvsCWS.htm

I've been following this for years. It was nice to see Cano being blamed for the loss.

A drunk man and a priest A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."