Misopogon

The unimportant stuff: It's this thing again: http://www.mvpmods.c...showtopic=45928, updated for 2k12. Apologies to the 17 people who downloaded it earlier -- I recommend replacing that one. File name is uniform_det_away84.iff and it can be added as a slot with Ty Wiggins's editor or replace the Aways. Guy wearing 3: Hello kids. My name is Alan Trammell. Guy wearing 1: And I'm Lou Whitaker Both: And we're here to teach YOU how to look as good as us! Trammell: Some of you may not know this, but people used to play baseball in cheap synthetic pullovers. Whitaker: That's right, Alan. And we were also forced to supplement our meager incomes by doing badly scripted public service videos and cameos in Magnum PI. Trammell: Well that was cool: Whitaker Anyway, if you want to look like us at home you can wear the same whites the Tigers have worn since the reign of Henry the First... Trammell: Ah, Beaclerc. Good guy. [gets strange look from Lou] Trammell: ...for a Norman. [another look] Whitaker: But when you go on the road, well, back in our day things got a little interesting. [cue cheesy '80s music] Trammell: You mean these? Whitaker: NO!!! Don't ever bring those out again! Trammell: Ha ha. We mean these! Whitaker: What you see above are screenshots from 2k10 but they haven't changed much. Trammell: And now you can have these babies for 2k12. All you need to do is figure out Ty Wiggin's editor or something. Whitaker: Or you could rename it uniform_det_away.iff and use a Mod Enabler. Trammell: Or you could PM someone who seems like they know what they're doing. Both: Because we don't!!! Trammell: But Lou, what about the colors? I mean you can't just wear these with the light blues that the colorblind people at 2k think constitutes "Navy." Whitaker: Good question, Tram! Our blue on an RBG scale is 16-22-52, and our orange is 231-85-16. But the colors that DetroitStyle put in his rosters for color-fixing are pretty close to that so if you're already using those don't even bother. Trammell: You mean this mod works well with other popular mods? Now that's what I call... Both: ...A DOUBLE PLAY!!! All: [laughter]. Look for updates as I use these to tinker with 2k12 mechanics. Thanks to DetroitStyle for the early assistance, to DonSpa for the tutorial in Ty Wiggins Editor-ing, Tom Monaghan, people who supported my Kickstarter, Tom Selleck's cookie duster, and the color orange.

UPDATE: I've included the 1994 Rangers as well. Since I can't change their team color from blue to red, they don't come out looking very much like 1994. The statute of limitations for most misdemeanors in Michigan is 16 years. That means anything you did here in 1994* will, as of this weekend, be lost to history. There are things we have all done in our lives that we are embarrassed about today. Mistakes are part of life, as is paying for those mistakes. For example, the guy who thought this... ...would make a great new logo for the Big Ten probably can't get his kids to speak to him anymore. Or like when we went to our R.A. and complained that one of our hallmates was literally the biggest douche in the world, and he told us we're probably overblowing it, well... So we all made mistakes. Fortunately, after about 16 years, most mistakes can be forgiven. For example, in '94, nobody now cares that you only built this: ...so you could then visit terrifying disasters upon your citizenry, or that these were your friends: By now, you can be forgiven if you cut your hair like this: Or if you bought an album from them: . Hey, nobody talks about Tonya Harding anymore. Or Amy Fisher. Or Joey Buttafuoco's missing thing. Nobody remembers making Green Lantern into this guy: Or when we put a retirement home in Tampa for old ballplayers and told Wade Boggs and Fred McGriff it was an MLB team: Hey, do you think the guy who thought teal was a great uniform color is still getting sh-- for it? Or the guy who picked purple for a new franchise in Colorado? No way, man: Statute of Limitations! Just like the dudes in Detroit who once thought to themselves, hey, "Let's trash the classic block letters so we can look more like Cleveland!" I mean, sure, the orange bills and the stupid change to a classic hat logo and stripes and using the Yankees' numbering font and letting Cecil out of his cage at night were not exactly well-thought-out things. But hey, at least they didn't shut down baseball in August and cancel the World Series. Owait.. Okay, so '94 sucked. But look at the textured logos (and extra orange for the cap versus the one on the batting helmets). Look at the texture of the stripes. Look at how well the 125th anniversary patch came out. Plus I spent way too much time trying to get the numbers to look right. I mean...you gotta try these, right? They replace the regular Tiger aways, or the Tiger roadies I've been feeding you all year: 1984 1945 http://www.mvpmods.c...s&showfile=5822 Negro League (wait, did I never even give you guys the '68 ones? Had those a long time. Hmmm....) ----------------------------------------------------------- * If you thought "like your Mom" you get 1 Internet point. P.S. Mistakes that are NOT forgiveable include whoever is responsible for making the damn computer throw, literally (by "literally" I mean "this is the real number, not hyperbole") pickoffs to 2nd base like 10 times per at-bat (because there's a 1/10 shot of getting that animation bug that will make the runner get back in slow-mo and put him out). If you know any way to fix that, and I mean ANY way, that doesn't involve something without a statute of limitations, please let me know. P.P.S. Vandalizing the car of the person at 2K who programmed the pickoffs is illegal. Just saying.

Attention V-Mart Shoppers: As a Thanksgiving Special, right now you can download the final 2010 rosters, with all the nice portraits added by modders. Before heading out to shop for your favorite free agent, be it an MVP-caliber left fielder or that last piece for your starting rotation, or that switch-hitting ca... oops sold out of that. A Tiger Folks have been beggin, so here it is. This is my final 2010 roster & portrait update. These rosters do NOT include any changes since the end of the 2010 season, so Victor is still a crimson footcover and that one guy who's a Tampa Bay fan can still pretend like his team can keep Carl Crawford. Usual rules apply, except if you're an Ohio State fan you are not allowed to download this until you have properly lost to Michigan. Consider this incentive...bastards. The portrait files and accompanying roster file include every portrait uploaded to this site (minus like one Pirate), plus a few others that I modified on my own, including the latest Royals pack. I tried it with a franchise (with roster management on auto) and it still works, but I will not support this file's use with Franchises or My Player, so don't bother asking. Step 1: BACK UP YouR FILES Step 2: Portrait.iff and portrait.cdf go in your MLB 2K10 folder, most likely C:\Program Files\2K Sports\MLB 2K10 Step 3: Roster.ROS goes in your saves folder under Application Data. For Windows XP: C:\Documents and Settings\[YOUR USER NAME]\Application Data\2K Sports\Major League Baseball 2K10\Saves Step 4: Write your local sportswriter and tell him what a flaming idiot he is for thinking a 2nd year closer was Rookie of the Year over Austin Jackson. I used TyWiggins's editor to enter the players whose portraits didn't already appear. If you wish to do the same (e.g. if you want your ALREADY STARTED dynasty to use the portraits you just downloaded), here are the added players and their corresponding digits: Slot Player Number 5 Jeff Clement 9258 9 Allen Craig 9005 12 Ian Desmond 9058 22 Brian Duensing 9305 30 Jim Edmonds 9301 33 Jaime Garcia 9201 39 Craig Gentry 9001 44 Andrew Oliver 9101 48 Luke Gregerson 9254 50 Mark Grudzielanek 9009 60 Jason Heyward 9109 65 Austin Jackson 9154 81 Kenshin Kawakami 9209 90 Brad Kilby 9150 104 Mike Lamb 9250 115 Rodrigo Lopez 9344 119 Colby Lewis 9244 123 Joe Mather 9019 134 John Raynor 9044 139 Ben Sheets 9219 147 Scott Sizemore 9144 149 Jay Sborz 9140 162 Greg Smith 9040 164 Craig Stammen 9240 172 Stephen Strasburg 9340 176 Mitch Talbot 9248 179 Jake Westbrook 441 181 Jordan Zimmerman 9115 192 Brennan Boesch 9315 196 Pedro Alvarez 9148 199 Argenis Diaz 9048 201 Gorkys Hernandez 9215 203 Brad Lincoln 9211 213 Starlin Castro 9311 230 Jose Tabata 9064 234 Brad Thomas 9239 238 Alfredo Figaro 9183 247 Danny Worth 9264 251 Ryan Strieby 9283 255 Brent Dlugach 9260 259 Enrique Gonzalez 9287 268 Robbie Weinhardt 9187 270 Hector Ambriz 9087 275 Carlos Santana 9060 280 Jason Donald 9335 284 Frank Herrmann 9068 288 Will Rhymes 9235 298 Jeff Frazier 9268 302 Justin Smoak 9135 308 Wilson Ramos 9131 319 Chris Carter (Mets) 9031 322 Hisanori Takahashi 9231 330 Ike Davis 9331 333 Jon Jay 9225 340 Madison Bumgarner 9325 345 Ruben Tejada 9125 352 John Axford 9278 363 Blake Wood 9121 373 Peter Bourjos 9321 375 Zach Braddock 9221 385 Lorenzo Cain 9329 387 Chris Capuano 9174 388 Chris Carter (A's) 9193 393 Andrew Cashner 9093 395 Jason Castro 9074 396 Gustavo Chacin 9229 399 Chris Seddon 9029 403 Casey Coleman 9293 408 David Pauley 9129 416 Sam Demel 9270 418 Thomas Diamond 9097 429 Donnie Murphy 9197 432 Barry Enright 9220 449 Francisco Rodriguez 9120 459 Hector Luna 9020 461 Daniel Hudson 3768 465 Ivan Nova 9279 475 Kenley Jensen 9324 478 Jenrry Mejia 9179 481 John Jaso 9079 498 Jordan Norberto 9792 508 Jordan Smith 9128 511 Jordan Walden 9275 512 Justin Thomas 9028 520 Kanekoa Texeira 9092 523 Michael Kohn 9228 524 Kameron Loe 9328 527 Jonathan Lucroy 9175 535 Mike Stanton 9086 541 Adam Russell 9161 549 Ryota Igarashi 9186 552 Marc Rzepczynski 9261 554 Ervin Sanchez 9286 560 Trevor Bell 9038 561 Steven Tolleson 9282 570 Trevor Plouffe 9338 573 Jonny Venters 9165 574 Brett Wallace 9182 580 Ross Wolf 9082 586 Bryan Anderson 9065 528 Kila Ka'aihue 9192 467 Bruce Chen 9124 423 Jarrod Dyson 9170 492 Lucas May 9196 The first number is its spot in the portrait file; the second number is what you have to change their portrait # to in the roster editor. All I ask is that you use the comments section below to sing "The Victors" and tell Ohio State how much you hate them and to stop making us their *****.

Sorry I don't have time to write a nice blog of Misopogonal logorrhea. Mahwidge and all that. Do you want a long, interesting post, or the rosters, amirite? It's the 1942 Kansas City Monarchs, to add to my previous series.

Hey, I'm back. Don't have time for a nice long blog to go with these. Suffice to say they're the missing portraits for a bunch of Kansas City Royals, which is kind of like a pro baseball team except without middle relief pitching. I'll have a complete roster update with these included in a few moments so if you're using a Misopogon roster, just be patient. Apologies if you are Zach Greinke and any of the attached faces caused you to lose a game you dominated. To use them, you'll need Nba2k10ModTool, which Google knows where that is. Use the numbers in the files to correspond to which dds image needs replacing. For those guys who were not in the game to start with, see my Rosters and Portrait update today for how to install those guys (or just download the rosters and portraits).

So, who plays for the Tigers these days? No, that guy's injured. That guy? Broken hand. Oh that guy? Yeah, knee exploded, I.R. The batting champ? Check Henry Ford Hospital, room 226. The guy with a 104-mph fastball? The bodypart thing that holds his elbow together snapped. Twang! Don't even ask about the bullpen. If you have loaded a recent Detroit Tigers roster, you may be forgiven for thinking MLB went on strike again. No. But we do have a lot of new faces, and with my mod, all of the fresh new faces will actually have, you know, faces. BTW - the "Rookie" and stuff on there was added in Photoshop. It's not in the mod. The portrait files and accompanying roster file include every portrait uploaded to this site (minus some minor league Pirates and Aroldis Chapman, because he is not a Major League ballplayer), plus a few others that I modified on my own (mostly Tigers, but I made a few trade deadline picture changes). If the white rings around some of my files bothered you before, they are gone now, for those I saw at least. I tried it with a franchise (with roster management on auto) and it seemed to work, but I will not support this file's use with Franchises or My Player, so don't bother asking. I will try to continue to update the portrait file with the rosters as the year progresses, but the pain-in-the-butt-itude of doing so may prevent me. Step 1: BACK UP YouR FILES Step 2: Portrait.iff and portrait.cdf go in your MLB 2K10 folder, most likely C:\Program Files\2K Sports\MLB 2K10 Step 3: Roster.ROS goes in your saves folder under Application Data. For Windows XP: C:\Documents and Settings\[YOUR USER NAME]\Application Data\2K Sports\Major League Baseball 2K10\Saves I used TyWiggins's editor to enter the players whose portraits didn't already appear. If you wish to do the same (e.g. if you want your ALREADY STARTED dynasty to use the portraits you just downloaded), here are the added players and their corresponding digits: Slot Player Number 5 Jeff Clement 9258 9 Allen Craig 9005 12 Ian Desmond 9058 22 Brian Duensing 9305 30 Jim Edmonds 9301 33 Jaime Garcia 9201 39 Craig Gentry 9001 44 Andrew Oliver 9101 48 Luke Gregerson 9254 50 Mark Grudzielanek 9009 60 Jason Heyward 9109 65 Austin Jackson 9154 81 Kenshin Kawakami 9209 90 Brad Kilby 9150 104 Mike Lamb 9250 115 Rodrigo Lopez 9344 119 Colby Lewis 9244 123 Joe Mather 9019 134 John Raynor 9044 139 Ben Sheets 9219 147 Scott Sizemore 9144 149 Jay Sborz 9140 162 Greg Smith 9040 164 Craig Stammen 9240 172 Stephen Strasburg 9340 176 Mitch Talbot 9248 179 Jake Westbrook 441 181 Jordan Zimmerman 9115 192 Brennan Boesch 9315 196 Pedro Alvarez 9148 199 Argenis Diaz 9048 201 OPEN 9215 203 Brad Lincoln 9211 213 Starlin Castro 9311 230 Jose Tabata 9064 234 Brad Thomas 9239 237 Jeff Larish 9164 238 Alfredo Figaro 9183 247 Danny Worth 9264 251 Ryan Strieby 9283 255 Brent Dlugach 9260 259 Enrique Gonzalez 9287 268 Robbie Weinhardt 9187 270 Hector Ambriz 9087 275 Carlos Santana 9060 280 Jason Donald 9335 284 Frank Herrmann 9068 288 Will Rhymes 9235 298 Jeff Frazier 9268 The first number is its spot in the portrait file; the second number is what you have to change their portrait # to in the roster editor.

This is a story that Buck O'Neil used to love telling: In Pittsburgh on July 21, 1942, pitching against the Homestead Grays, Satchel Paige found himself up 4-0 in the 7th inning when he gave up a triple to Jerry Benjamin. Paige called in his 1st baseman (O'Neil) and told him he's gonna walk the next two guys to face Josh Gibson, who was, at the time, the most feared hitter in baseball.* He promptly issued four balls to the next batter, and then when the next batter, Buck Leonard, came up, Satchel called to Gibson over in the on-deck circle and said "I'm gonna walk Bucky here and pitch to you!" When Gibson came up, Paige announced "I'm gonna throw a fastball right down the pipe." He did, and Gibson watched it go by. Satchel called out again "fastball, down the middle!" And again, thinking Paige was trying to screw with him Gibson didn't swing: Strike Two. A third time: "I'm throwing you a fastball!" Satch threw, it went by Gibson's knees as he swung with late futility: inning over. ------------------- * Eat your heart out, Splinter ------------------- For much of the 20th century, to play in the Major Leagues you had to be white. To play in the Negro Leagues, you had to be great. Contained within are the uniforms for the Detroit Stars (Tigers at home) and the Pittsburgh Crawfords (Pirates away), as worn on June 12 this year (and every following year in your MLB2K10 dynasty if you haven't noticed yet), which is way back when only one of these teams was fielding a AAA squad and ANGRY ATHLETE-HATING GOD ran out of 2009 New York Mets and Iowa Running Backs and absolutely vital Michigan Wolverines to smite, and went back to picking on Joel Zumaya's arm and Carlos Guillen's legs and every non-deity Tiger position player hitting over .250. So yes, the Tigers since all the injuries are suddenly bad. And people born after the Pirates' last winning season are graduating high school this year. This is why DonSpa et al. have given up on watching the real Pirates and takento using them as paper dolls (Next time you diss the Bucs, think of how many uniforms you've gotten directly due to the torture MLB puts these people through). N.E.Way... The Detroit Stars were one of the Rube Foster teams, known for awesomely named baseball greats like Turkey Stearns (above)(the greatest baseball player who ever lived that you've never heard of) and Bingo DeMoss. Plus Bruce Petway, the hardest catcher to steal on in baseball history (his arm was such that he threw to 2nd base from the squat and only missed if the ball came in so hot the shortstop dropped it). As for the Crawfords, well, understand Pittsburgh was to the Negro Leagues what New York was to MLB in the '50s and '60s. Various Negro Leagues came and went. One of the biggest comers in the early 1930s was Pittsburgh's second team (the Homestead Grays were the first). The Crawfords were probably the first free agent monster. Some of the greatest players in the history of baseball wore the red of Crawford's (a restaurant in the black side of town for which the team was name), including Judy Johnson, Cool Papa Bell, and Josh Gibson. Oh yeah, and from 1932-37 only the best pitcher -- probably the best Baseball Player -- who ever lived, and no this is not up for debate: No, people, not Dizzy, the guy who Dizzy said is the greatest pitcher who ever lived. Thazright. The files are called uniform_pip_away.iff (Pirates Normal Away) and uniform_det_home.iff (Detroit Home) but you can easily rename the files to fit in any uniform slot, e.g. uniform_det_cl1.iff to replace the classic Detroit uni, or uniform_pip_cl1.iff to stick it among classic Pirate uniforms. As usual, though, I highly recommend just getting Generic Mod Enabler because it is really easy to set up and then you can play Tigers/Pirates games with the like 100 different combinations available from this site. I think I'm gonna make the KC Monarchs next, unless someone else has a set they'd like to see. When Satchel Paige was retiring from his second career (the one in the Majors), a certain sportswriter after whom I have tried to mold my own writing career asked Satch to sum up his career. Said Paige, "Who's gonna straighten out 2,500 ballgames in my head? 'How many cow pastures you played on, Satchel?' they wanta know. How many bus rides you took? Who put the spike scars on your shinbone? Why is your feet flat? Who was it offered you $50 to pitch a triple-header that time? "Man, the past is a long and twisty road." Word, Satch. Detroit Stars: Pittsburgh Crawfords:

These files will set the MLB rosters to official current rosters of 7/18/2010, and also change all of the portraits that MVP Modders have uploaded to date. For example, when you play as the Indians, you can see the pretty faces of guys like Carlos Santana before they take their talents somewhere other than Cleveland: They are NOT, and I repeat NOT for use to start a franchise with. NOT FOR FRANCHISES. Do not try to start a franchise with these rosters. If you try to start a franchise with these rosters, and then they don't work, please don't send me irate personal messages about how I crashed your game. They are NOT, and I repeat NOT for use to start a franchise with. I will try to continue to update the portrait file with the rosters as the year progresses, but the pain-in-the-butt-itude of doing so may prevent me. Step 1: BACK UP YouR FILES Step 2: Portrait.iff and portrait.cdf go in your MLB 2K10 folder, most likely C:\Program Files\2K Sports\MLB 2K10 Step 3: Roster.ROS goes in your saves folder under Application Data. For Windows XP: C:\Documents and Settings\[YOUR USER NAME]\Application Data\2K Sports\Major League Baseball 2K10\Saves I used TyWiggins's editor to enter the players whose portraits didn't already appear. If you wish to do the same (e.g. if you want your ALREADY STARTED dynasty to use the portraits you just downloaded), here are the added players and their corresponding digits: 5 Jeff Clement 9258 9 Allen Craig 9005 12 Ian Desmond 9058 22 Brian Duensing 9305 30 Jim Edmonds 9301 33 Jaime Garcia 9201 39 Craig Gentry 9001 44 Andrew Oliver 9101 48 Luke Gregerson 9254 50 Mark Grudzielanek 9009 60 Jason Heyward 9109 65 Austin Jackson 9154 81 Kenshin Kawakami 9209 90 Brad Kilby 9150 104 Mike Lamb 9250 115 Rodrigo Lopez 9344 119 Colby Lewis 9244 123 Joe Mather 9019 134 John Raynor 9044 139 Ben Sheets 9219 147 Scott Sizemore 9144 149 Jay Sborz 9140 162 Greg Smith 9040 164 Craig Stammen 9240 172 Steven Strasburg 9340 176 Mitch Talbot 9248 179 Jake Westbrook 441 181 Jordan Zimmerman 9115 192 Brennan Boesch 9315 196 Pedro Alvarez 9148 199 Argenis Diaz 9048 201 OPEN 9215 203 Brad Lincoln 9211 213 OPEN 9311 230 Jose Tabata 9064 234 OPEN 9239 237 Brad Thomas 9164 237 Jeff Larish 9164 238 Starlin Castro 9183 238 Alfredo Figaro 9183 247 Danny Worth 9264 251 Ryan Strieby 9283 255 Brent Dlugach 9260 259 Enrique Gonzalez 9287 268 Robbie Weinhardt 9187 270 Hector Ambriz 9087 275 Carlos Santana 9060 280 Jason Donald 9335 284 Frank Herrmann 9068 The first number is its spot in the portrait file; the second number is what you have to change their portrait # to in the roster editor.

I would respond to that "at least we're not Detroit" but who am I kidding, we just got swept in a double-header by the Offensive Logoists. Plus, it's hard to be too down on those people right now after a certain member of the Millenial generation decided to seek better employment opportunities in a more up-and-coming city (because, this never happens, right?) This package includes a few Indians I added before launching my forthcoming Roster & Portrait update (and accompanying barrage of bile from people who don't read before they download, and then get mad at me because they can't start a franchise with them). Included: Jayson Nix: 1010 Hector Ambriz (270) Carlos Santana (275) Jason Donald (280) Frank Herrmann (284) The number after Nix is his Portrait ID #. Those in parenthesis need to be added in a Roster Editor -- the numbers are just recommendations to keep with the aforementioned Roster and Portrait Update. You will need to download the NBA 2K10 Mod tool in order to import these images into your portraits.IFF file, and for all but Nix, you'll also need TyWiggin' Roster Editor to change these players' portrait ID locations (or just wait for my full roster file). To Install (I totally yanked this part from earlier posts): 1: Create a backup of your existing portrait.iff and portrait.cdf files from your MLB2K10 installation directory 2: Extract the contents of this ZIP file to the location of your choosing. 3: Copy your portrait.iff AND portrait.cdf files from your MLB2K10 installation directory to the same directory to extrated these files to 4: Launch the NBA 2K10 Mod Tool, click open, and browse to the copy of the portrait.iff file you just copied 5: When prompted to decompress, select "Yes" 6: Using the scroll bar in the top left pane, scroll to the portrait ID number corresponding to the player you wish to update 7: Click on "Import Res" and select updated DDS file you extracted earlier 8: Now to see the updated portrait in-game, copy the portrait.iff and portrait.cdf files from the location you copied it to before BACK to your MLB2K10 installation directory. 9: Start the game and enjoy Note: You will not be able to complete step 8 above if the game is running. You will have to exit the game first. Note #2: Please refer to this post which lists all assigned and unassigned Portrait ID numbers. Pick a number that shows unassigned as the forum post shows then import the .dds file you wish to that specific number. Note #3: G-d hates Cleveland.

So, this week the Tigers went 2/3 against the Twins, and had a 5-game win streak. Yet we suddenly, LOST first place in the AL Central? You know why this is happening? Because the Royals can't beat the White Sox on the road. At all. I heard they gave up like 200 runs last night, all to Carlos Quentin. Kittens, people. Thousands and thousands of cute cuddly kittens, dying because you choose a game that is of utmost importance to the Tigers to rest Zach Greinke's awwww shoulder so your replacement-level junkballers can can give up 15 runs to franchise dead weights like Andruw Jones and Alex Rios. KITTENS are DYING because of this! You'll notice that Mitch Maier, while watching yet another kitten-killing White Sox homer go over the fence, is wearing an outfit that doesn't appear in 2K10: a blue alt with gray pants. I could have simply made this and given it to you. But the real Royals have these road unis, and THEY can't seem to beat the White Sox in them. And since I know you all play MLB2K10 just to watch White Sox lose as much as possible, I didn't want to give you something that would make that possible. So here's two more road options for KC Royals. The first turns their grays into sky blues (and adds a much-needed white pipe on the legs), and I was happy with the result. The second turns the home royal blue alts into away alternates with gray pants. Also, the top shades to a different blue as it gets more distal(it's actually a dark version of the exact shade they use on the turquoise homes). Result: Step 1: Back up your files (uniform_kcr_alt_2.iff and uniform_kcr_away.iff). Step 2: Put these in the same spot Step 3: Start a game of the Royals at White Sox Step 4: Start Greinke. Step 5: BEAT THE FRIGGITY WHITE SOX!!! _away.iff: _alt_2.iff: Yes, I'm proud. You know what would make be prouder, though? IF THE F***ING ROYALS OR ANYBODY WOULD BEAT THE F***ING WHITE SOX!!@!

The 1920s were a glorious, glorious age: If these seem familiar, it's because I previously posted a Tigers Uni alt with a BIG HONKIN' TIGER ON THE BACK. Um....that's TIGER, not PONY, mind you. Yes, Atlanta Braves pitcher Kris Medlen, I am talking to YOU: Since then, however, I've been tweaking. I made an away version. I pulled the pinstripes apart because back then teams couldn't afford nearly as many pinstripes. I put an EVEN LARGER BIG HONKIN' TIGER on the backs. Now, when I unveiled the originals, some of you, and some people I may or may not be marrying this year, said to me things like "Hey jerkoff the Tigers never wore their back logos nearly as big as you say they did." and "I like them but according to the Hall of Fame's Dressed to the Nines exhibit, the logos were much smaller and they wore them on the back in 1928, not 1927," and "Why don't you just try to like my cousin?" To all of you I say: 1) **** your cousin who waits 'till July to plan her shotgun wedding on the Saturday of Labor Day then expects us to cancel our entire vacation for it, and 2) I called MLB directly and they gave to me to show you the never-before-seen, absolutely official copy of the Tigers' officiously official 1927 uniforms: Ah, old time baseball...you were so darn colorful.* Why is this so important? Well, to recap: 1927 was a turning point in baseball. On one end, you had the Yankees, with Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and whole lot of that stuff that generally makes people detest Yankees.** They also unveiled a new baseball uniform element: numbers on the back. ------------------------ * Sarcastic, ironic double-entendre intended. ** It's called wins. ------------------------ In Detroit, however, even more murderous hitters were prowling the plate. Harry Heilman hit .398. THREE-NINETY-EIGHT BITCHES! Bob Fothergill hit .359. Charlie Gehringer, the mechanical man, was a machine. Heinie Manush was a pain in the tush. And the Tigers also unveiled a uniform element on the back: A BIG HONKIN' TIGER. It was this close people: either every team in the Majors -- nay, every sports team in the World -- was going to have player numbers or BIG HONKIN' TIGERS on their backs for ever and ever, and it all came down to which team won the 1927 American League Pennant. It was really close too. The Tigers finished only a hair's breath -- 27 1/2 games -- behind the Yankees (and the A's, and the Senators), and thus sportsmen today continue to wear numbers rather than big honkin' Tigers on their backs. A pity: Of course, it's a pity no longer, for you now possess the power to grace your Tigers' backs with BIG HONKIN' TIGERS, whether at home: Or away: Or sitting on your couch in a vest waiting for the imminent Earth-Sun Crash. Which would suck. But hey, at least the Yankees or Twins didn't get Cliff Lee, so....woohoo pennant chance lives! So you know, the files are uniform_det_away.iff and uniform_det_home.iff, and replace the regular Tigers' homes and aways. You can easily rename these files uniform_det_bph.iff and uniform_det_bpa.iff to replace the batting practice jerseys instead. Remember: Back **** up. It's the law.

[note: quick update (version 2) because I realized the base color was too gray, rather than the yellowy white I intended. Apologies to the two guys who downloaded already] Caveat: I am about to make a few statements here that some may deem bordering on political, and some may deem offensive, and some may deem disagreeable. Also, I should warn you that this post does use some rough language, including one sh--, two f--s, one a--, and one "pathetic squirt of vaginal discharge," but since all but one only occur in this opening introduction, you're passed them now. That said, please plant your tongue firmly in your cheek, and enjoy... Cleveland blows. A-s. Since 1928, in fact. And the reason for all of this blow-age atop suck-age atop Drew Carey-age? Well, ask the people of Cleveland (again, a url that is worth visiting). Now, every major deity in every major deity-book comes across as fairly reasonable. Merciless when angered, yes, but not without cause. That cause: Since putting that...that thing on their chests in 1928, the city has won a grand total of ONE championship. Uno. That championship: 1948, when Cleveland countered all of that karma by having Hank Greenberg buy the team, and then being the first squad in the AL to sign Negro League players. At this point, the deity or deities who control such things said "oh, hey, Cleveland's amending this lakeside mistake, let's reward them." But alas, the city kept wearing a big F.U. to their original fellow Americans, and then Drew Carey was born in 1958 and the big guy upstairs was like "Oh, that's how it's gonna be..." and then the Browns and the Cavaliers and the Indians... So yes, G-d or whatever higher power 85 percent of Clevelanders (-ites? -inmates?) are talking to when they get to Steps 2, 3, 5, 6 and 7 of 12 of Cleveland sports fandom, most assuredly hates Cleveland. And now you too can see why. Just remember: by downloading this uniform you absolve Misopogon of any and all damage to your person and property on account of smiting.